Post your corny jokes - Page 1314

**mrfixit** · March 6th, 2018, 11:36 PM

A woman goes into a adult toy shop to buy a dildo. She sees one behind the counter and tells the salesman, “I want that one!”
He replies, “It’s not for sale.”
The woman says, “Please I want that one,” again he says it’s not for sale.
The woman says, “I’ll give you a hundred dollars for it.” and the salesman says, “Well, okay.
Five minutes later, his boss walks in and asks, “How’s business today?”
The salesman replied, “It’s pretty slow but I just made a hundred dollars off of my thermos.”

**mrfixit** · March 7th, 2018, 12:36 AM

~~}[eywood~~ · March 7th, 2018, 02:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrfixit

All the nuns and most of the altar boys got up

Estreeter · March 7th, 2018, 12:11 PM

Q: Why have glow in the dark condoms been invented

A: So gay males can play Star Wars

**effCup** · March 7th, 2018, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Estreeter

So gay males can play Star Wars

Insert yourself within the dark side, Luke.

**trailmaster** · March 7th, 2018, 01:42 PM

Some short jokes:

A guy goes door to door looking for work. One homeowner hands him a brush and a can of paint and offers him $150.00 to paint his porch.

A few hours later, the guy comes back to the homeowner and says, "I'm finished. But you should know that you car's a Ferrari, not a Porsche."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
John visited his 90-year old grandpa who lived way out in the country. On the first morning of the visit, John's grandpa prepared a breakfast of bacon and eggs. John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and asked. "Are these plates clean?" His grandpa replied. "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just go ahead and finish your meal.

For lunch, Grandpa made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have specks of dried eggs on it. "Are you sure these plates are clean?" he asked. Grandpa said, "I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them!"

Later, as John was leaving, his grandpa's dog started to growl and wouldn't let him pass. John said, "Grandpa, your dog won't let me get by!"
Grandpa yelled to the dog, "Cold Water, go lie down!"

**BCFC_1982** · March 7th, 2018, 03:04 PM

Shouldn't corny jokes just be about corn?

Gin&Tonic · March 7th, 2018, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BCFC_1982

Shouldn't corny jokes just be about corn?

Ok, you wanted CORNy jokes!

What does mouldy CORN flakes have in common with Charles Manson?
They are both cereal killers.

What do you call an American State Fair?
A CORNival.

What do you call a mythical vegetable?
A uniCORN.

Enough??!!

**photoflex** · March 7th, 2018, 07:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BCFC_1982

Shouldn't corny jokes just be about corn?

Hard Pore Corn?

**BCFC_1982** · March 7th, 2018, 08:09 PM

That's more like it. Short snappy jokes are corny.

Paragraphs long jokes are not corny.

Do we need an epic joke thread?

March 6th, 2018, 11:36 PM	#13131
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,867 Thanked 114,823 Times in 9,416 Posts	A woman goes into a adult toy shop to buy a dildo. She sees one behind the counter and tells the salesman, “I want that one!” He replies, “It’s not for sale.” The woman says, “Please I want that one,” again he says it’s not for sale. The woman says, “I’ll give you a hundred dollars for it.” and the salesman says, “Well, okay. Five minutes later, his boss walks in and asks, “How’s business today?” The salesman replied, “It’s pretty slow but I just made a hundred dollars off of my thermos.” __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

March 7th, 2018, 12:36 AM	#13132
mrfixit Vintage Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: Elm Street Posts: 9,401 Thanks: 165,867 Thanked 114,823 Times in 9,416 Posts	__________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. Where's my Illudium PU-36 Explosive Space Modulator?

March 7th, 2018, 12:11 PM	#13134
Estreeter *Administrator* Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: The 19th hole Posts: 58,120 Thanks: 449,724 Thanked 896,888 Times in 60,322 Posts	Q: Why have glow in the dark condoms been invented A: So gay males can play Star Wars __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

March 7th, 2018, 03:04 PM	#13137
BCFC_1982 Fiona Cooper Enthusiast Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: England Posts: 6,545 Thanks: 109,012 Thanked 106,991 Times in 6,821 Posts	Shouldn't corny jokes just be about corn? __________________ All my later posts (2017+) have 3% recovery records in the RAR files To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. PM me in relation to anything Fiona Cooper

March 7th, 2018, 08:09 PM	#13140
BCFC_1982 Fiona Cooper Enthusiast Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: England Posts: 6,545 Thanks: 109,012 Thanked 106,991 Times in 6,821 Posts	That's more like it. Short snappy jokes are corny. Paragraphs long jokes are not corny. Do we need an epic joke thread? __________________ All my later posts (2017+) have 3% recovery records in the RAR files To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. PM me in relation to anything Fiona Cooper

March 7th, 2018, 01:42 PM	#13136
trailmaster Veteran Member Join Date: Sep 2013 Location: Chicago, Illinois, USA Posts: 59,898 Thanks: 1,329,029 Thanked 707,255 Times in 60,072 Posts	Some short jokes: A guy goes door to door looking for work. One homeowner hands him a brush and a can of paint and offers him $150.00 to paint his porch. A few hours later, the guy comes back to the homeowner and says, "I'm finished. But you should know that you car's a Ferrari, not a Porsche." -------------------------------------------------------------------------- John visited his 90-year old grandpa who lived way out in the country. On the first morning of the visit, John's grandpa prepared a breakfast of bacon and eggs. John noticed a film-like substance on his plate, and asked. "Are these plates clean?" His grandpa replied. "They're as clean as cold water can get them. Just go ahead and finish your meal. For lunch, Grandpa made hamburgers. Again, John was concerned about the plates, as his appeared to have specks of dried eggs on it. "Are you sure these plates are clean?" he asked. Grandpa said, "I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them!" Later, as John was leaving, his grandpa's dog started to growl and wouldn't let him pass. John said, "Grandpa, your dog won't let me get by!" Grandpa yelled to the dog, "Cold Water, go lie down!"