Post your corny jokes - Page 1208

**photoflex** · March 18th, 2017, 10:31 PM

Do You Have A Dirty Mind?

Just take a good look at this picture...

...if you see anything else than wheat heads, then yes, you've got a dirty mind!

**gedly** · March 19th, 2017, 09:40 AM

So I whispered to my wife, "Let's have a feel of your lovely tits", as I gently squeezed her firm buns and ran my fingers over her hard, pert nipples. She giggled and whispered back, "We've forgotten the coffee. Can you dash back to the aisle before I get to the front of the queue?"

**otokonomidori** · March 19th, 2017, 10:11 PM

I was a shit father. I couldn't afford to buy my son much for Christmas.

He went to his mate's house one Boxing Day. The mate was dressed in a new cowboy suit and showed off his new BMX, Scalextric, Hornby railway set, Trivial Pursuit, selection boxes etc.

My son exclaimed "Fuck me! You're one lucky bastard! I wish I had leukaemia!"

**gmcbee** · March 19th, 2017, 10:53 PM

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

**otokonomidori** · March 20th, 2017, 07:58 PM

Police came to my door today holding a picture of my wife.

"Is this your wife sir?" the copper asked. 'Yes' I answered.

"I'm afraid it looks like she's been run over by a bus" he said.

"I know" said I, "but she takes it up the arse and she's good with the kids!"

**bloke57** · March 20th, 2017, 09:01 PM

My wife is going to be a mummy very soon now.

I've only got her head left to wrap.

petvictor · March 21st, 2017, 06:24 PM

Paddy goes to the building site dressed as a Red Indian,Mick says, "Why are you dressed like that ?,,Paddy says, Well i heard the boss say he was going to sack all the cowboys,,,

Aaron · March 22nd, 2017, 10:10 AM

The Unknown Comic, the brown bag wearing stand up comic most popularly known for his appearances on The Gong Show, passed away late yesterday afternoon after visiting the grocery store. The check-out girl had asked if he wanted paper or plastic and he made an unfortunate choice.

The eulogy will be read by The Smothers Brothers.

petvictor · March 22nd, 2017, 01:00 PM

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!,,,,,The Irish SAS team have dropped into Russia with orders to "take Vlaimir Putin Out",,,,,So far theyve taken him to the Pictures and last night they went Ten Pin Bowling,,,,

**gmcbee** · March 23rd, 2017, 02:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by petvictor

BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!,,,,,The Irish SAS team have dropped into Russia with orders to "take Vlaimir Putin Out",,,,,So far theyve taken him to the Pictures and last night they went Ten Pin Bowling,,,,

I know a pengiun joke...

March 18th, 2017, 10:31 PM	#12071
photoflex Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Location: Location Posts: 3,583 Thanks: 37,923 Thanked 127,779 Times in 3,570 Posts	Do You Have A Dirty Mind? Just take a good look at this picture... ...if you see anything else than wheat heads, then yes, you've got a dirty mind! __________________ To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 0 or greater. You currently have 0 posts. I love your thanks, but please thank the original posters first.

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March 19th, 2017, 09:40 AM	#12072
gedly Veteran Member Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 3,234 Thanks: 19,883 Thanked 69,311 Times in 3,171 Posts	So I whispered to my wife, "Let's have a feel of your lovely tits", as I gently squeezed her firm buns and ran my fingers over her hard, pert nipples. She giggled and whispered back, "We've forgotten the coffee. Can you dash back to the aisle before I get to the front of the queue?"

March 19th, 2017, 10:11 PM	#12073
otokonomidori 緑の男 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Jockistan, UK. Posts: 8,316 Thanks: 39,023 Thanked 122,410 Times in 8,316 Posts	I was a shit father. I couldn't afford to buy my son much for Christmas. He went to his mate's house one Boxing Day. The mate was dressed in a new cowboy suit and showed off his new BMX, Scalextric, Hornby railway set, Trivial Pursuit, selection boxes etc. My son exclaimed "Fuck me! You're one lucky bastard! I wish I had leukaemia!"

March 19th, 2017, 10:53 PM	#12074
gmcbee Vintage Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Clinging to the rim of a crater on the dark side of Uranus. Posts: 1,065 Thanks: 3,961 Thanked 11,051 Times in 1,042 Posts	What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

March 20th, 2017, 07:58 PM	#12075
otokonomidori 緑の男 Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Jockistan, UK. Posts: 8,316 Thanks: 39,023 Thanked 122,410 Times in 8,316 Posts	Police came to my door today holding a picture of my wife. "Is this your wife sir?" the copper asked. 'Yes' I answered. "I'm afraid it looks like she's been run over by a bus" he said. "I know" said I, "but she takes it up the arse and she's good with the kids!"

March 20th, 2017, 09:01 PM	#12076
bloke57 Veteran Member Join Date: Nov 2015 Location: Unaffordable housing Posts: 4,923 Thanks: 31,646 Thanked 68,928 Times in 4,921 Posts	My wife is going to be a mummy very soon now. I've only got her head left to wrap.

March 21st, 2017, 06:24 PM	#12077
petvictor Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 56 Thanks: 1,012 Thanked 701 Times in 50 Posts	Paddy goes to the building site dressed as a Red Indian,Mick says, "Why are you dressed like that ?,,Paddy says, Well i heard the boss say he was going to sack all the cowboys,,,

March 22nd, 2017, 10:10 AM	#12078
Aaron Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2014 Location: U.S. of A. Posts: 206 Thanks: 6,639 Thanked 2,740 Times in 201 Posts	The Unknown Comic, the brown bag wearing stand up comic most popularly known for his appearances on The Gong Show, passed away late yesterday afternoon after visiting the grocery store. The check-out girl had asked if he wanted paper or plastic and he made an unfortunate choice. The eulogy will be read by The Smothers Brothers.

March 22nd, 2017, 01:00 PM	#12079
petvictor Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 56 Thanks: 1,012 Thanked 701 Times in 50 Posts	BREAKING NEWS!!!!!!,,,,,The Irish SAS team have dropped into Russia with orders to "take Vlaimir Putin Out",,,,,So far theyve taken him to the Pictures and last night they went Ten Pin Bowling,,,,