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**Ghaleon** · December 8th, 2009, 07:14 PM

1) Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2) Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

3) If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys & apes ?

4) The main reason that santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

5) I went into a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section ?" She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

6) What if there were no hypothetical questions ?

7) If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap ?

8) If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation ?

9) Is there another word for synonym ?

10) Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all ?"

11) What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant ?

12) If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages ?

13) Is a fly without wings called a walk ?

14) Why do they lock petrol station bathrooms ? Are they afraid someone will clean them ?

15) If a turtle dosen't have a shell, is he homeless or naked ?

16) Can a vegetarian eat animal crackers ?

17) If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent ?

18) Why do they put braille on the drive thru bank machines ?

19) How do they get the deer to cross the road only at those yellow signs ?

20) What was the best thing before sliced bread ?

21) One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

22) Does The Little Mermaid wear an algebra ?

23) Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery ?

24) How is it possible to have a civil war ?

25) If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too ?

26) If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry ?

27) If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done ?

28) Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it ?

29) Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids" ?

30) Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them ?

31) Why is there an experation date on sour cream ?

32) If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times, do they become disoriented ?

33) Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god ?

And Finally .....

34) One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Ghaleon

December 8th, 2009, 07:14 PM	#1
Ghaleon Vintage Member Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Between Here & There Posts: 2,063 Thanks: 73,874 Thanked 34,774 Times in 2,064 Posts	Random Thoughts 1) Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. 2) Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 3) If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys & apes ? 4) The main reason that santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. 5) I went into a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section ?" She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose. 6) What if there were no hypothetical questions ? 7) If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap ? 8) If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation ? 9) Is there another word for synonym ? 10) Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all ?" 11) What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant ? 12) If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages ? 13) Is a fly without wings called a walk ? 14) Why do they lock petrol station bathrooms ? Are they afraid someone will clean them ? 15) If a turtle dosen't have a shell, is he homeless or naked ? 16) Can a vegetarian eat animal crackers ? 17) If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent ? 18) Why do they put braille on the drive thru bank machines ? 19) How do they get the deer to cross the road only at those yellow signs ? 20) What was the best thing before sliced bread ? 21) One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people. 22) Does The Little Mermaid wear an algebra ? 23) Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery ? 24) How is it possible to have a civil war ? 25) If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too ? 26) If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry ? 27) If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done ? 28) Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it ? 29) Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids" ? 30) Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them ? 31) Why is there an experation date on sour cream ? 32) If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times, do they become disoriented ? 33) Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god ? And Finally ..... 34) One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Ghaleon