Do you know why women aren't allowed in space? To avoid scenarios like: "Houston, we have a problem!" "What is the problem?" "Yeah, great, pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about!"
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The above is obviously an old joke, because women astronauts do go into space now.
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What would you call a very funny mountain? Hill Arious"
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How do you know the ocean greets you?-- It waves.
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What goes up and down but never moves? The stairs!
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Doctor says to his patient: "You have Cancer and Alzheimers."
Patient: "At least I don't have Cancer."
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A wife complains to her husband: "Just look at that couple down the road, how lovely they are. He keeps holding her hand, kissing her, holding the door for her, why can't you do the same?" "Are you mad? I barely know the woman!"
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