Quote:
Originally Posted by rosestone
It's difficult. I feel like if she'd just try and be reasonable, and just not indulge herself whenever she feels a tantrum coming on, everything would be fine. But, I guess, she'd say something very similar about me (without the tantrum bit and instead something about.......actually, tbh I don't really know what her problem is with me, which I suppose says a lot, because she spends a generous portion of her life telling me)  |
Hmm! A lot of this sounds like passive-aggressive victimhood behaviour. Believe me I know all about that!
My ex always described herself as "damaged" - her mother committed suicide when she was about 19 and her late husband had cheated on at least one occasion. She seemed to like to revel in that and use it to excuse her selfish behaviour - although I always made it clear that she had no right to visit her crap on me and I would not stand for it.
So I am wondering if your lady has a past tragedy or problem in her life that has not been addressed? Only you and she will know, but it could be that she needs to exercise those demons and get them out of her system - then she can appreciate you more.
My ex was not willing to move on - I think she preferred to define herself by her struggles, live in the past and glean all the sympathy she could. So it was not for me in the end - and equally I did not fit the narrative she re-invented for herself - so I walked.