One of Homer Simpsons' that I use all the time,
" It was like that when I got here"
Ariel Castro, (who's also being done for 'receiving')
" Hey, if I'd have known they were there I'd have charged rent"
One of my faves tho, was when a guy came late into our class @ college and when being asked why he was not here on time, he went into an elaborate story how,
" he had stopped a pram from drifting into the road by a gust of strong wind & while being thanked by grateful mother & congratulated by the crowd that now surrounded him, his wallet was stolen and on his way to report the theft, an Alien craft beamed him aboard for an anal probe..... and I thought , I'm gonna be late for college here "
