[DTravel]

The is the narration from the "Previously on" recap at the start of an episode in the middle of the first season of the old show 'Dirt'. I love the attitude in the first part of it.

"Hi, its me, Don Konkey. I'm a photographer for Dirt Now magazine. I'm also a highly functional schizophrenic, blah, blah, blah. No offense but if you don't know that by now then you have worse attention skills than me. That's Lucy Spiller. Again, no offense, but you should really be up on this shit by now. Lucy has sorta problem with men. But that's not the case with Holt McLaren. Lucy got what she wanted. Holt got worms. Remember those pictures I took of happily married action hero and international superstar Jack Dawson Lucy's brother Leo a while back? They're starting to cause a lot of trouble. Holt didn't see the worms when he threw up but he did see the tracks marks on the arm of his girlfriend, Julie Mallory. Magazine is doing this big story about this cheerleader murder. Turns out the murdered girl was involved with the town preacher. Oh, and she was pregnant. He was also sleeping with his daughter. I don't think there will be any World's Greatest Dad mugs coming his way soon. Lucy ran that on the cover. Not everyone was happy. On the bright side I'm dating again. And I'm 99% sure this one is real."