One night your having this strange dream and you talk in your sleep. All of a sudden your wife wakes you up. She says to you " I heard you talk in your sleep about me giving you a girlfriend!". "What kind of crap is this?". "I go to to all this trouble to keep a good home. Cook our meals, do the laundry, take care of the children, and this is the thanks I get?!" "No, I will not get you a girlfriend, and if I hear you mention this nonsense in your sleep again, you can sleep on the couch forever and there will be no sex or blowjobs or anal sex or all that kinky stuff you like!" "And if I hear that you are talking in your sleep on the couch and I hear again that you want a girlfriend, I will take you by the scruff of your neck and throw you out of the house, making sure that you land right in front of the garbage truck so you will be crushed flat!" " I can get any man I want to replace you, you ingrate!"
I wish that my refrigerator was always filled with the best imported beers. I would never have to go to the trouble of shopping for them every week.
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