Just been chatting to my neighbour's teenage daughter and it turns out she's really into UFOs and aliens.
Which is cool because tomorrow she's getting abducted.
This is yet to be confirmed by scientists, but there are rumours that women have a certain 'spot', and if you hit this spot at exactly the right strength, it will make a woman willing to do anything for you.
It's called the face.
My wife got raped on the way back from the chip shop earlier and was rushed straight to hospital.
I was devastated when I found out. I was really looking forward to those chips.
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