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Estreeter 05-10-2013 03:46 PM

Excuses for anything
I had too go too work this afternoon for a meeting for an hour on a day off :mad: Ruined my afternoon which earlier this week I thought I'd be spending having a round of golf :(

So, I came too the meeting late just too piss of my manager ;) Asked me why I was late, so I bullshitted, I just told him the car wouldn't start and being a company car it was their fault I was late, not mine ;)

We've all used them, real or not, So what some new ones we could use when in a situation where one is needed for whatever,

Not showing up
Not paying attention
Murder :D

luddite 05-10-2013 05:01 PM

The first three are covered by " I got lucky last night " (except with the wife} and the last one and many more are covered by " It's a dirty job, but somebody has to do it "

MaxJoker 05-10-2013 05:11 PM

Excuses for.
My military career,

I was just obeying orders !.

Leaving before a cuddle afterwards ,

Hey it`d feel a little like cheating on the wife !.

That prosecution for queer bashing,

Whaaaaat so i can`t have a hobby !.


sweatyhat 05-10-2013 05:23 PM

I got my arm stuck in the cornflakes packet looking for the plastic toy.

NIN 05-10-2013 05:26 PM

One of Homer Simpsons' that I use all the time,
" It was like that when I got here"
Ariel Castro, (who's also being done for 'receiving') :o
" Hey, if I'd have known they were there I'd have charged rent"
One of my faves tho, was when a guy came late into our class @ college and when being asked why he was not here on time, he went into an elaborate story how, " he had stopped a pram from drifting into the road by a gust of strong wind & while being thanked by grateful mother & congratulated by the crowd that now surrounded him, his wallet was stolen and on his way to report the theft, an Alien craft beamed him aboard for an anal probe..
... and I thought , I'm gonna be late for college here "

Estreeter 05-10-2013 06:32 PM

A good excuse for not wanting sex

I just ate, gotta wait a while

MaxJoker 05-10-2013 06:37 PM

I know, thank Buddha`s balls for a woman`s insecurities .

Originally Posted by Estreeter (Post 2472310)
A good excuse for not wanting sex

I just ate, gotta wait a while

A good excuse for her needing sex, right away with me :o

Hey you just ate , do you really want it all to go to that fat ass ?


b119a 05-10-2013 06:43 PM

Gaming Theory
"I can't do anything about it. There's too goddam many."

winebeavis 05-10-2013 07:53 PM


Pros just deny. No, I was supposed to be here at 9:30, not 9:00.; It was fine when it left my control; I sent a week ago; I left a message calling in sick, I guess it didn't go through; The links are working fine,I'm downloading it now, the problem is on your end. Which is a good segue to:

Blame others. I don't know. Ask Estreeter and MaxJoker, they had it last; That's his job; I tried to stop the team leader, but he wouldn't listen; I couldn't get the other mods to contribute; i know I promised that I wouldn't cum in your mouth, but you're just so good at what you do I couldn't help it.

Every once in a while, play dumb. I thought May 10th was a paid holiday; The deadline was May 1, 2013? Not 2014; Oh that was for me to do and not the other winebeavis? Use sparingly, these will get you fired. Unless you are tech support. Have you tried restarting your computer? Have you tried unplugging and replugging your computer? O.K. Now try restarting again. Let me put you on hold while I consult with a level 2 tech support team member.

ubu_roi 05-10-2013 08:04 PM

I have found that any mention of anal bleeding or testicular swelling immediately ceases any and all inquiries regarding why I won't be (or wasn't) in for work.

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