My neighbourhood is so rough...........
 

Thought I'd start a thread where you get to put a dark twist on everyday things demonstrating how your neighbourhood is going rapidly downhill. :)

I'll start us off then:

My neighbourhood is so rough that.....
The icecream vans have signs saying "Hit me and nick one." :D

My neighbourhood is so rough that.....
We don't have Jehova's Witnesses. Instead we've got Jehova's Bystanders because they witness ffck all!
(credit Roy 'Chubby' Brown) :D:D

My neighbourhood is so rough that.....
The kids have to be muzzled to protect the pitbulls. (off Grif.net) :p

My neighbourhood is so rough that Mike Tyson is our "Avon Lady".

My neighbourhood is so rough that.....
..our doorbell chime tells callers to "Ffck off!"

My neighborhood is so rough...
 

...the rule on the basketball court is "no autopsy, no foul."

...the SWAT Team are the metermaids.

...we don't have cops, we have UN Peacekeepers.

...the hookers carry mace. Not cans of spray, but actual spiked maces.

...the kindergarten has a smoking lounge.

My neighbourhood is so rough that.........
 

Everyone's front garden has ornamental mattresses, dogshit and rusty Ford engine parts.

That's not a rough neighbourhood, you're a redneck.

My neighbourhood is so rough that......
 

The muggers go round in pairs,The Postmen wear flak jackets,The Salvation Army go round in a tank.

my neighborhood is so rough that even the jehovahs witnesses carry hand grenades.

My Neighborhood is so rough...
 

The school paper has an obituary column.

(Credit to R. Dangerfield)

My neighborhood is so rough...
 

...even the rats carry knives.

...Chuck Norris won't even come into it.

...manslaughter is a misdemeanor.