A Memo to a Prime Minister
 

You break every rule of good man-management. You bully your weaker colleagues. You criticise colleagues in front of each other and in front of their officials. They can’t answer back without appearing disrespectful, in front of others, to a woman and to a Prime Minister. You abuse that situation… This demoralisation is hidden only from you. People are beginning to feel that everything is a waste of time… You have an absolute duty to change the way you operate.

- from a memorandum to Margaret Thatcher by John Hoskyns, head of her policy unit, 1981 (two years after she became prime minister)

Young Guns (1988) Jack Palance's character Lawrence Murphy
 

John Tunstill: These boys are promising young men acquiring an education.

Murphy: Well, I've had you pegged as the type that likes... educatin' young boys.

"When I see a man, naked, with a hardon chasing a screaming woman down an alleyway.. I figure he's not collecting for the Red Cross.."

"Opinions? They're like assholes. Everybody's got one."

"You forgot the unwritten rule! Actually, the unwritten rule is never start a land war in Asia.. But never come up against a Sicilian when death is on the line! HA HA HA HAH H....thud".

"Egyptian builders...."

Just watched this again (as I do at least once a year)...

"I'm tired of your chickenshit games! I don't want hints, I need to know what you KNOW!". " Get out your notebook.. "

"You look tired. I want you to go home and rest. Rest for fifteen minutes then get back to work. After all, there's nothing riding on this except the freedom of the press and the First Amendment to the Constitution of the United States.."

While I'm in this vein.. "I went to the Press Office and they gave me a statement.. 'The White House deplores the illegal activity at the Democratic National Headquarters. ' " Isn't that what you'd expect? " "I didn't ask about Watergate; I just asked what Colston's duties were at The White House. They're offering he's innocent, but nobody asked if he was guilty..." .... "Be careful how you write it..."

Roy "Chubby" Brown
https://t20.pixhost.to/thumbs/199/73152224_5.jpg


Man says to wife 'I had a wet dream about you last night, I dreamt you got run over by a bus and I pissed myself laughing'.

A woman asked her hubby if he knew how she could make her bust bigger. He said 'try rubbing toilet paper between your tits, it's worked for your arse'.

My uncle just got struck off the medical register for having sex with his patients,
it's a real shame cause he's a really good vet.

Woman walks past a pet shop with a sign reading 'For sale clitoris licking frog' She
goes in and the shopkeeper say's 'Bonjour madame'.

Yesterday I read an article about the dangers of drinking too much, it scared the
s**t out of me. So today I decided I'm never reading again.

Little girl gets lost in Tesco's, security guard asks her 'what's your mum like?'
Little girl replies 'Big cocks and vodka'.

A couple in a cafe in Llangollen asks 'Can you settle an argument for us and
pronounce where we are, VERY slowly?' The waitress leaned over and said ........
'Burrr gurrr king'.


Boss has to lay off Ann or Jack. Ann walks into the office, boss say's 'I have a
problem, I have to lay you or Jack off.....'You better jack off, I've got a
headache'.

Larry la Prise who wrote the hokey cokey has died aged 93. The worst part was
getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in, then the trouble started.

Paul McCartney poem-: We lay upon the grassy bank, my hands were all a quiver, I slowly undid her suspender belt and her leg fell in the river.

Sorry I haven't been in touch, a friend was rushed to hospital to have a dangerous
mole removed from his penis...... he won't be shagging one of those again!

It's important to keep fit as you get older, my granny started walking 5 kilometres
a day when she was 60. Today she's 97 and we don't know where the hel_l she is!

Tampax have replaced the string on their tampons with a piece of tinsel.... They say it's only for the Christmas period.

A woman goes to her doctor with a bit of lettuce hanging out of her pussy. Doc
say's 'that looks nasty'. She say's 'Nasty?, it's just the tip of the iceberg!

Two newly weds turn up at a hotel and ask for the honeymoon suite, the receptionist asks 'do you have reservations?' The bride answers 'Yes, I won't take it up the arse'!


I’ve decided to take up a life of crime, but I can’t decide which political party to join.


It was our son that kept our marriage together. Neither of us wanted custody of him.

The House of Lords is like a glass of champagne that has stood for five days

~ Clement Attlee

A Parliament is nothing less than a big meeting of more or less idle people

~ Walter Bagehot

You will never find

~ Obi-Wan

"We've got bush!"

(Maybe not absolute, all time favorite; but definitely a favorite that comes to mind right now.)

"Have fun storming the castle"

Billy Crystal - Princess Bride

There were so many wonderful lines in that film

From Jaws

Quint: Here lies the body of Mary Lee; died at the age of a hundred and three. For fifteen years she kept her virginity; not a bad record for this vicinity.

Pretty much any line from Quint can be called a favorite line. One of the greatest characters in cinema history. ( imho )