I contacted the Pro Claimers but They were abroad,I just got a Letter From America...

What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 pounds.

Why do men need instant replay on TV sports? Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

So you're the voter fraud the wingnuts have been warning us about! :rolleyes:

News: Head lice now resistant to usual medical treatments.

The problem has scientists scratching their heads.

What is better than a cold Bud? A warm bush.

Why did God give Black guy's big dicks? He felt sorry for putting pubes on their heads.

When you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.

How does one know a man is going to say something smart?..His senentences start with "A woman once told me.."

Why did God create gay men? So fat girls could dance.

Q. How can you tell you’re in a tough lesbian bar?
A. Even the pool table has no balls.

Hillary Clinton and her driver were cruising home along a country road one evening when an old cow loomed in front of the car. The driver tried to avoid it but couldn't and the old cow was struck and killed.
Hillary told her driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened.
She said that he should resist any request from the farmer to pay for the animal, but she also said, “You killed it, so if they have to have money, it will come out of your pocket!” She stayed in the car making phone calls.
About an hour later the driver staggered back to the car with his clothes in disarray. He was holding a half-empty bottle of expensive wine in one hand, a huge Cuban cigar in the other, smeared with lipstick, and was smiling happily.
"What happened to you," asked Hillary?
"Well," the driver replied, "the farmer gave me the cigar, his wife gave me the wine, and their beautiful twin daughters made passionate love to me.”
"What did you tell them?" asked Hillary.
The driver replied, "I just stepped inside the door and said, 'I'm Hillary Clinton's driver and I've just killed the old cow.' The rest happened so fast I couldn't stop it."

Q. What’s better than a rose on your piano?
A. Tulips on your organ.

Q. What’s the bad news about being a test tube baby?
A. You know for sure that your dad is a wanker.

Q. What’s the difference between your paycheck and your cock?
A. You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.