"What do batteries run on?"
Stephen Wright:D

Life On Mars
Sam Tyler.."who are you?"
Gene Hunt..."Gene Hunt your DCI it's 1973 just about dinner time and I'm 'avin hoops"
and
"c'mon out.. your surrounded by armed ba***rds"
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"If I melt dry ice, can I take a bath without getting wet?" - Steven Wright

Steven Wright
 

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. :D
I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add. :D
I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy. :D
I intend to live forever. So far, so good. :D
I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier they wouldn't have to go so fast. :D

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Steven Wright
Genius

Shaw and Churchill
 

George Bernard Shaw telegrammed Winston Churchill just prior to the opening of Major Barbara: "Have reserved two tickets for first night. Come and bring a friend if you have one."

Churchill wired back, "Impossible to come to first night. Will come to second night, if you have one."

Cromwell
 

Warts and all
“Mr Lely, I desire you would use all your skill to paint my picture freely like me, and not flatter me at all; but remark all these roughnesses, pimples, warts and everything as you see me, otherwise I will never pay a farthing for it”
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“Keep your faith in God, but keep your powder dry”

Very good advice.

Fifty pence for a bang on the bollocks?How much you charge for a kick up the arse?
Roy Chubby Brown,from the film UFO

Have you ever noticed that anyone driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone driving faster than you is a maniac? - George Carlin

Rodney Dangerfield from the movie - CaddyShack
http://img210.imagevenue.com/loc137/..._122_137lo.jpg " The last time I saw a face like that, It had a hook in it."



Andrew Dice Clay from his movie - The Adventures of Ford Fairlane
http://img16.imagevenue.com/loc15/th...y_122_15lo.jpg Greeting 2 detectives with this great line " And what are your names, Neil and Bob ? or is that what you do huh ? "

Standing on the shoulders of giants
 

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The phrase may come from Bernard of Chartres around 1130. The inscription on the edge of the £2 coin is quoting Newton.
“If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants.”
– Isaac Newton, letter to Robert Hooke, 1676

“Newton won the race in part because, as he put it, he had stood on the shoulders of giants and in part because he just happened to be the biggest giant of them all.”
– Alan Cromer, Uncommon Sense: The Heretical Nature of Science, 1993

Hooke had a reputation for taking the credit for ideas that weren't necessarily his own, Newton's included.