Random Thoughts
 

1) Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2) Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

3) If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys & apes ?

4) The main reason that santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

5) I went into a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section ?" She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

6) What if there were no hypothetical questions ?

7) If a deaf child signs swear words, does his mother wash his hands with soap ?

8) If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation ?

9) Is there another word for synonym ?

10) Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all ?"

11) What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant ?

12) If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages ?

13) Is a fly without wings called a walk ?

14) Why do they lock petrol station bathrooms ? Are they afraid someone will clean them ?

15) If a turtle dosen't have a shell, is he homeless or naked ?

16) Can a vegetarian eat animal crackers ?

17) If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent ?

18) Why do they put braille on the drive thru bank machines ?

19) How do they get the deer to cross the road only at those yellow signs ?

20) What was the best thing before sliced bread ?

21) One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

22) Does The Little Mermaid wear an algebra ?

23) Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery ?

24) How is it possible to have a civil war ?

25) If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too ?

26) If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry ?

27) If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done ?

28) Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it ?

29) Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids" ?

30) Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them ?

31) Why is there an experation date on sour cream ?

32) If you spin an oriental person in a circle three times, do they become disoriented ?

33) Can an atheist get insurance against acts of god ?

And Finally .....

34) One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Ghaleon

All my thoughts are pretty random

Who decides what thoughts are random?

What if being snow blind meant you couldn't see snow?
Driving your car would be a real adventure wouldn't it? You'd be screaming at your mechanic "Traction control my ass! I slid through every stop sign. If it wasn't for the old lady pushing a shopping cart I would have hit a bus you idiot!"
You'd be watching the winter olympics wondering what the devil these fools were up to.
Snow ball fights would be a complete mystery. "What was that? Whatever you're doing just stop it. I'm not crazy you're crazy!"

Just wondering.

Why does flammable and inflammable mean the same thing ?

I don't see anything randome abou....hey cookies....sorry as I was saying I don't see anythi....WOW nudity got to go

Whilst having had a few drinks, I thought...
 

...maybe it would be a wheeze for all to be invited to spit out the most trivial/surreal/wierd/just plain silliest ideas or thoughts to have popped into our minds whilst engaged in the fine and noble art of intoxication.

For example...

The question of which Family Guy character should be portrayed as Dr. Strangelove? Stewie (obviously), Meg or Peter?

What say you?

I thought, time for another.

I thought ,I need pork Scratchings

... right, better get my cap on. That 747 won't fly itself.


Cheers,
Dumbassgo.