Tough neighbourhood...
 

''Every time I go to Bay City, I need to buy a new head.'' Phillip Marlowe, The Little Sister by Raymond Chandler.

Even worse than Bay City
 

''Bradford 's role in life is to make every place else in the world look better in comparison, and it does this very well.'' Bill Bryson, Notes From A Small Island.

I know Bradford, West Yorkshire quite well, and I am sad to say it has gone a long way downhill since Bill was there. It is very difficult to buy a pair of man's shoes there now unless they cost less than £10 and have synthetic leather uppers and a plastic sole.:(

Allenisms
 

What goes black-white-black-white-black-white? A nun falling down the stairs.--Woody Allen

Lord Denning
 

In the 1940s and 1950s, when Britain still hanged murderers fairly regularly, Alfred Denning was a High Court judge and sometimes had to wear the black cap. In later life, as President of the Court of Appeal, and in retirement, he changed his mind and opposed the death penalty, thinking it dirty, cowardly and uncivilised that millions of citizens wanted an anonymous ''someone'' to carry out the act of hanging, which they were not prepared to do personally with their own hands. But as a High Court judge he had no such reservations and all through his legal career he was famous for his brilliant forensic mind and incisive use of language, the latter very rare in a lawyer.

On one occasion the jury convicted the accused man of murder. Before putting on the Black Cap, the judge always had to give the convicted prisoner a chance to make a last statement. On this occasion, the exchange went like this:

Denning: Prisoner at the bar, do you have anything to say before I pass sentence?

Prisoner:[in a frantic shrill voice] As God is my Judge, I'm not guilty!

Denning:[with great emphasis, word by word] He isn't. I am. And you are.

Never stand up if you can sit down,never sit down if you can lay down-Winston Churchill

Desperate times call for a sharp remedy-Guido Fawkes

Jessica Simpson
 

Am I eating chicken or tuna?

I'm such a blonde. It just doesn't make sense for me to have dark hair.

Is that weird, taking my Louis Vuitton bag camping?

Twenty-three is old. It's almost 25, which is like almost mid-20s.

Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? I know it's tuna, but it says 'Chicken of the Sea.'

http://thumbnails8.imagebam.com/4781/08d7a947807447.gif

I wonder about her sometimes

Paris
 

Paris Hilton on her career choices: “First wanted to be a veterinarian. And then I realised you had to give them shots to put them to sleep, so I decided I’d just buy a bunch of animals and have them in my house instead.”

Paris Hilton on her fame: “There’s nobody in the world like me. I think every decade has an iconic blonde, like Marilyn Monroe or Princess Diana and, right now, I’m that icon.”

Paris Hilton on her technique on the red carpet
: “I don’t really think, I just walk.”


:mad::mad::mad:

Makes My Day
 

I love these

Jessica Simpson to the President when visiting the White House: "I love what you've done with the place!"

Pamela Anderson on her secret to success: "I don't think about anything too much . . . If I think too much, it kind of freaks me out!"

Christina Alguilera on film festivals: "So where's the Cannes film festival being held this year?"

Britney Spears on where she might start her theatre career: "I would rather start out somewhere small, like London or England."

Goldie Hawn on her favourite types of films: "Comedy is funny".

:D:D:D:D:D

I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. But I've got nowhere to put them. So I just leave them scattered around the shore.

Stephen Wright

I bought some batteries, but they weren't included. So I had to buy them again.


I spilled Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone