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Twisted sick jokes that`ll send us ALL to hell.

Kristallnacht

Kristallnacht who ?

Shut up and get on the train

Hey i just thought of that.

Stop judging me , what do i look like i`m at Nuremberg or zomething !

Although i`m now taking it you get the gist of this awful awful awful thread :D

My Mate was a necrophiliac until some cnut split on Him....

My uncle Schindler always forgets something when he goes grocery shopping.

He should write a list.

So the media say GTA V will cause players to commit crime.

Bullshit, i've got the Coronation Street board game and i'm not a pedophile.

An angry looking bloke has just got out of a time machine and forced me to suck his cock, i feel degraded and humiliated.

When i get older i`m going to build my own bloody machine, go back in time, find this cnut as a kid, and see how he likes it.

I've got a REALLY sick one but it will definitely upset people with red hair so I will only post it if I get the OK from the mods.

Quote:

Originally Posted by karloschaos (Post 2651904)

I've got a REALLY sick one but it will definitely upset people with red hair so I will only post it if I get the OK from the mods.

Best check with Tabler first then, as he`s a red head :D

Or at least his pubes are :o:thumbsup:

Back to the thread topic at hand though,

I forced my Chinese girlfriend into losing her baby fat.

Stupid fcuking name for a kid anyway if you ask me.

A woman and three men are stranded on a deserted island. After a week, the woman is so ashamed of what they're doing, she kills herself. After a week, the men are so ashamed of what they're doing, they bury her. After a week, the men are so ashamed of what they're doing, they dig her up.

I know loads of sick jokes. Too sick for VEF though.

Bloke goes to a brothel. Maybe he's been at sea, or maybe he's just got out of jail, but he's desperate. But..oh no! He hasn't brought his wallet.

Madam: Just exactly how much do you have on you? I might be able to arrange something.
Bloke: [searches pockets] I've got £3.17.
Madam: I've got a sheep. Take it or leave it.
Bloke: I'm desperate. I'll take it.

Madam guided bloke to a room where the far wall is mirrored glass. In the middle of the room, the unlucky sheep stands at bay.

It's a month later. The bloke is back and still pretty desperate. Once again, he's forgotten his wallet.

Madam: Ah, it's Mr Rockerfeller. So how much do you have on you today?
Bloke: £2.59.
Madam: Hmm. I'll discount the viewing gallery.

In the viewing gallery, several customers are watching a live porn exhibition through a window. In the next room, two very attractive young women are enjoying one another's favours.

Bloke [to customer standingnext to him] This is alright.
Customer: Yeah, it's pretty good today. But you take whatever's on offer. Last month I was in and there was some sick sick bastard having sex with a sheep.

Q: What did the leper say the the prostitute?
A: Keep the tip.

A gay bloke walks into a straight bar, the bartender says "Hey, i know you're fag, i got no problem with that. Just don't go to the dunny, because you're just gonna go jerk off, and I just painted the walls."

"Whatever." the gay guy drinks a few beers, watches and talks to some people. He's gotta go take a leak. He waits for the bartender to be busy, and sneaks off to the bathroom.

Seeing neither the gay guy, or a paid his tab, the bartender knows, the guy is in the bathroom. He runs back, just as the gay guy comes out of the bathroom.

The barkeep peeks in the bathroom, and discovers cum literally all over the walls. "Dammit, i told you not to go in here, I knew you'd jerk off."

Insulted, the gay bloke replies, "I didn't jerk off, I only farted."

:o

What's worse then 7 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 7 trees.

:o