If you had three wishes ?

[MaxJoker]

Ok it happened ,you where staggering home after a long hard day helping keep your local public house in business during these turbulent times and you slip on the pavement. Ending up flat on your back , beside a dirty looking yet shapely bong

http://img169.imagevenue.com/loc1098/th_01071_pb130_123_1098lo.jpg (http://img169.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=01071_pb130_123_1098lo.jpg)

So naturally you roll over and give it a rub , the bong that is and KAZAM a nine foot tall Bob Marley appears in a puff of smoke , which only increases in thickness as he adds to it when he exhales then speaks

http://img232.imagevenue.com/loc106/th_00910_Bob_Marley_123_106lo.jpg (http://img232.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=00910_Bob_Marley_123_106lo.jpg)

"Yeeee mon , you done free me from ma slumber so now get wishes of dat triple number "

:cool:

So that`s the thread , what would you wish for ?

http://img260.imagevenue.com/loc201/th_01425_Man_thinking_123_201lo.jpg (http://img260.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=01425_Man_thinking_123_201lo.jpg)

Oh and just so you know Bob`s also wearing a day glow t-shirt with the sentence "Don`t be asking for more wishes or i tear you a new asshole , ay" written on it :D

[diane69]

I'll save the rest of the male side of the human race from answering and reply on their behalf: Switchable (on/off) invisibility.

I don't think I'll need the other two wishes.

[27cows]

I'd go for living for ever, being irresistible to any woman I fancied and having the guitar playing genius of Jimi Hendrix.

Well, you might as well make the most of your three wishes :D

[imtrying]

Living forever is an interesting choice, but it would be a drag watching all the people you love pass on. My wishes would be: 1. To live the remainder of my life in good health and spirits. 2. Have enough money to do what I want and not have to worry about the cost. 3. A week of total carnal bliss with Jeannie Pepper.

[Jeff Vader]

1. The ability to have multiple orgasms. Well until you have a Bill hicks moment (aka you come so often that nothing but air comes out :eek:)

2. Chole Vevrier, for as long as I want and she'll do what I want.

3. An unending supply of Haagen-Daaz Macadamia Nut Brittle ice cream.

[diane69]

1. The ability to have multiple orgasms.

Done that. Just need to practice, practice, practice...

[svea4]

just one wish:

I wanna live the ever repeating day from Bill Murray`s "Groundhog Day" with Bob waking me up by shouting:

"Yeeee mon , you done free me from ma slumber so now get wishes of dat triple number "

:cool:

btw

what are your three wishes GreenSkull?

:cool:

[Drella]

1. Have the ability to see the future and use it mostly to blackmail people I hate.
2. Leak unlimited quantities of liquid gold from my mammary glands.
3. Be able to eat my weight in junk food and never gain an ounce.

[MaxJoker]

what are your three wishes GreenSkull?

:cool:



Well being an annoying slightly megalomaniac sod i`d try my best to circumvent Gennie Marley's rule and think of a wish that`d more or less make me omnipotent , so if i could get away with it i`d wish for the power to control all matter right down to the molecular level. That way i could do anything even as has already been mentioned make myself immortal , only i could also make whoever i wanted immortal as well. Hmmm actually i could do almost anything apart from turn back time , in fact i would be a GOD !

Of course knowing Bob he`d probably just listen to my first wish suck his teeth , smile and say "Nice try"

There`s always wishing that Marley has short term memory loss , because then it may be possible to keep on making them without him twigging ?


Naaah he`s really tear me a new one then :eek:

So i`d try again wishing for the powers of Superman , as it`d be great to be able to fly .But i`d need the rest of his strengths including virtual invulnerability to protect myself from governments agencies attempting to catch and cut me up to see how i manage to fly . Might be more trouble than it`s worth ?. Hell there are so many things we could wish for .

Could wish for the old world peace universal love to reign , still that`d leave everybody else walking around with dreamy looks on their faces and that might annoy me after a while ?.

This is tricky , i`ll have to go think about it and get back to you.

Although i find i ponder better when in a giant bed with a drunk Girls Aloud , heeeeey :D

[svea4]

Hell there are so many things we could wish for .

This is tricky , i`ll have to go think about it and get back to you.

Although i find i ponder better when in a giant bed with a drunk Girls Aloud , heeeeey :D

I´m really curious about your eternal three wishes but take care of Bob:eek:

may the loud and drunk girls be with you :D

"Do drunken girls pass gas?" "Yas!"

;)

[Bovon]

Mmm. Well -

Perfect physical & mental health and young enough to enjoy it.

The ability to write, play, and sing songs in the style of Paul Simon's finest.

http://img16.imagevenue.com/loc1049/th_55904_M9b_123_1049lo.jpg Meeting this one and her being smitten with the Bovonic package. :)

[MaxJoker]

I´m really curious about your eternal three wishes but take care of Bob:eek:

may the loud and drunk girls be with you :D

"Do drunken girls pass gas?" "Yas!"

;)

http://img225.imagevenue.com/loc344/th_68327_1_123_344lo.jpg (http://img225.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=68327_1_123_344lo.jpg)

Bob is with me now (Did i forget to say this thread was based on actual events?) and his normally magically relaxed eyebrows are raised in quizzical thought .

As in why so curious about my three ? , what are your three wishes ?.

Hmmm and would wishing i`d answer your question be one of them ;)

Now please excuse me Bob just said i really should be "Jammin" , so i guess i better go buy some soft fruit ,plus a couple of jars (No change there then)

Quite a busy day oh well have to get going ,Bob wants to see a movie later this afternoon as well

http://img106.imagevenue.com/loc16/th_68342_4018018465_123_16lo.jpg (http://img106.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=68342_4018018465_123_16lo.jpg)


EVERYBODY NOW :D

"Jamminwe`reJamminwe`reJamminwe`reJamminwe`reJammin we`reJammin"

[BigBucket]

1.) Won the Euro Millions rollover lottery. 20-30 million quid.

2) A clone of Stacy Moran for company as we travelled around the world.

3) Immortality so i could one day travel to the stars if humanity ever progressed that far. (see point 2 as well)

[tabler]

These are 3 from the heart for a change and not pissing about:-

I would wish I could see my Dad again (he died 2 years ago on Monday) just to talk and say things I wish I had said,

I would wish I had done things differently with my estranged wife,the bitch.

I would wish for health and happiness for my 2 grown up children.

Right back to being a tit again, watch this space:D

[Wendigo]

Like tabler's last post
1 - To go back in time and insist that our local hospital keep my father in for 3 more days, although would they listen to an 11 year old?
2 - That I had tried harder at secondary school and not thrown the last 2 years away.
3 - That I had kept up swimming and cycling and become less of a couch potato.

Isn't honesty cathartic?

[Estreeter]

Pretty shallow but to end up in this bottle

http://img187.imagevenue.com/loc1009/th_34699_0020284529_123_1009lo.jpg (http://img187.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=34699_0020284529_123_1009lo.jpg)

With her

http://img196.imagevenue.com/loc808/th_34728_1_123_808lo.jpg

:D:D:D:D:D

[kiwi]

1. Absolutely no pop-ups when entering the forum.

2. Posters of deleted posts should be notified by PM as to why any said post was deleted.

3. More lurkers say thank you to all posters.

[kiwi]

If I had to change one, I'd change it to this:

# Make the search function work better than 'one' word as it does now.

[MaxJoker]

1. Absolutely no pop-ups when entering the forum.

2. Posters of deleted posts should be notified by PM as to why any said post was deleted.

3. More lurkers say thank you to all posters.



I ran those past Bob so he sat on the curb and gave it some special Rasta thought , then said this in chilled out response

http://img235.imagevenue.com/loc130/th_63311_Bob_Marley_123_130lo.jpg


1) Ya first can be sorted by blocking wit a Firefox application , see me friend i hear it`s spread`n de nation

2) Now that be impossible mon for me , as like dem Mods ma magic ain`t got enough time that`s free

3) But a Lurker be such to avoid observation , so respect his own wish if not the path he has taken


Hope that helps Kiwi :D

[MaxJoker]

Money ?

Power ?

Fame ?

Three wishes there , although on balance i`d quite fancy to make these

1) Kimberley Walsh (Like most members don`t already know)

http://img16.imagevenue.com/loc12/th_11837_KIM_123_12lo.jpg (http://img16.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=11837_KIM_123_12lo.jpg)


2) Her best friend ( So she has someone to play with )

http://img238.imagevenue.com/loc225/th_11842_CHREYL_123_225lo.jpg (http://img238.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=11842_CHREYL_123_225lo.jpg)

3) That proof positive is suddenly found showing that i am in fact the true heir to the British throne , as someone with my sense of duty could have a great deal of fun with the far reaching powers of the British monarchy

http://img202.imagevenue.com/loc78/th_11852_throne_123_78lo.jpg (http://img202.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=11852_throne_123_78lo.jpg)


Having said that though if Kim didn`t fancy being made Queen then i`d abdicate , oh god .....it must be true ........i`m in total lust lust lust

http://img222.imagevenue.com/loc388/th_12625_KIMSINGLE_123_388lo.jpg (http://img222.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=12625_KIMSINGLE_123_388lo.jpg)

:eek:

[chupachups]

reminds me of the old joke

with the first wish, the guy wishes for a ferrari, so ping, a ferrari appears out of nowhere

with the second wish, the guy wishes to be fabulously wealthy, so ping, the boot of the ferrari is full of cash, diamonds, gold coins etc

so the guy is now cruising along the road with his shiny new ferrari and a boot full of wonga, when he spies this beautiful girl

"I wish I was between her legs", ping, he is a sanitary towel

[damp-patch]

Wish number 1. I'd like unlimited wishes please.
Wish number 2. er, that's it.

[Sam Spade]

The ability to travel through time, i wanna see the dinosaurs. [/geek]

The ability to travel to alien worlds, and meet the locals.[/geek]

To have Mae, Barbara, Charlene, Shelley and Cybil as my travelling companions/bed warmer's :D


http://img208.imagevenue.com/loc589/th_79687_Annex120-820West4120Mae9205Go720West220Young020Man6_01_122_ 589lo.jpg (http://img208.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=79687_Annex120-820West4120Mae9205Go720West220Young020Man6_01_122_ 589lo.jpg)http://img232.imagevenue.com/loc378/th_79692_actress-barbara-eden-418344_122_378lo.jpg (http://img232.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=79692_actress-barbara-eden-418344_122_378lo.jpg)http://img172.imagevenue.com/loc464/th_79698_Charlene_Tilton_06_122_464lo.jpg (http://img172.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=79698_Charlene_Tilton_06_122_464lo.j pg)http://img145.imagevenue.com/loc1172/th_79703_sh_004x_122_1172lo.jpg (http://img145.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=th_79703_sh_004x_122_1172lo.jpg)
http://img234.imagevenue.com/loc59/th_79708_Cybil_Shepherd_122_59lo.jpg (http://img234.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=79708_Cybil_Shepherd_122_59lo.jpg)

[zab79]

If I had 3 wishes

1) Wish I was less attractive, honestly its a pain having women practically throw themselves at me on a daily basis
2) Wish I had less money, theres only so many fast cars and mansions one man should have
3) Wish I had a smaller penis, its embarassing when women stare at my crotch constantly

... life is hard guys, if only Genie Bob was real :(

[kjwan]

1: Omnipotence,
then you don't need wishes 2 or 3!

[MaxJoker]

1: Omnipotence,
then you don't need wishes 2 or 3!


Just be careful how you pronounce that though , as Chris Tarrant asked for the very same thing only Bob misheard him

http://img263.imagevenue.com/loc542/th_08373_News1_0_123_542lo.jpg (http://img263.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=08373_News1_0_123_542lo.jpg)

Professionally embarrassing or what ! , still he can laugh about it now

http://img260.imagevenue.com/loc380/th_08374_4_123_380lo.jpg (http://img260.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=08374_4_123_380lo.jpg)

:D

[Simo]

Had some big laughs reading this thread but just the same i`ll make three serious wishes as a couple of people have done so already

1) Better health for my father in law
2) That everybody develops a lasting respect for life
3) Steadier hands

But if one and two take it out of Bob then tell him i can live without number three being granted

[krustymcc]

A cup of tea,
a bacon butty
and a roll-up.

(and they say I lack ambition!)

[Saturday]

3. More lurkers say thank you to all posters.

Just took responsibility to fulfill your wish from my side and thanked:)

It seems one wish is enough - all wishes should become true.

[MaxJoker]

Bob and i`s friendship has been strained recently as the man don`t believe in moderation and find da whole idea an aberration

http://img14.imagevenue.com/loc699/th_43986_BOB1_123_699lo.jpg (http://img14.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=43986_BOB1_123_699lo.jpg)

But after explaining the titles misinterpretation and that it`s not about discrimination or creative annihilation , rather the emancipation of respectful communication and collective imagination ,we`re now cool :D

http://img192.imagevenue.com/loc807/th_43991_BOB2_123_807lo.jpg (http://img192.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=43991_BOB2_123_807lo.jpg)

Plus i think the hat i bought him helped , anyway onto me own proper three

1) Make all harmful or destructive chemicals and industrial substances on the earth inert , that includes ionising radiation and Nuclear outputs. Know that would sort of mess up things for a few months but that`d only be in the short term , as long term the world would be a much safer place .Never more so as nations would be forced to work together instead of plotting ways to blow their commercial rivals into space

2) That Mark Chapman had accidentally blown his head off the first time he tried to load


3) To relive my life from age nine with all the knowledge i now possess , because for reasons i won't go into my family made me feel like i was an idiot growing up. Also i`d be able to put all my paper round and car cleaning money in a fledgling new company called Microsoft , which means i`d have been able to retire the day before i began full time employment :cool::D:cool:

[Leprechaun]

1. The fairy that brings me the three wishes should be a 20 year old attractive nymphomaniac...

2. She should forget that she already gave me three wishes every time after she had an orgasm.

3. She should come very quickly and often ...

[Mal Hombre]

:DTo have whatever i want,whenever i want it,for as long as i want it.I think that about covers it.

[scoundrel]

:DTo have whatever i want,whenever i want it,for as long as i want it.I think that about covers it.
What about the other two wishes Mal?;)

[Mal Hombre]

:DThe ability to do what i want for as long as i want and be able to change my appearance at will (handy for making a quick getaway)

[Spanner]

1. Get a girlfriend
2. Loose my virginity
3. Mojo

[snorkie]

For example: A man walks into a bar, throws a wad of money on the counter and shouts, "Drinks are on me!" While enjoying my free beer, I noticed that the man was built like a Greek god, except above the neck, where he was quite small. "I hope you don't mind my asking," I says, "but-"

He slaps me on the back and says, "you're wondering about my build, right? I'm a fisherman by trade, and one day a beautiful mermaid gets tangled in my net. Naturally, I let her go. She tells me for my kindness, I can have any three wishes, with the exception of sex. I'd been poor all my life, so I asked for an endless supply of money. She slaps her tail on the water once, and suddenly every time I reach into my pocket it comes out full of cash.

Next, I explain that I'd always wanted to be well built. This time she slaps her tail twice, and I have an athlete's body with a porn stars plumbing. Pretty cool!

Now, it's my final wish, and I have to tell you, she's drop dead gorgeous, and I'd just blazed one up, so you know what I was thinking. I ask, really no sex? She says no how, no way. Well, I says...how about a little head? ;)

[MaxJoker]

A wallet that never emptied
A heart that always stayed calm
A firm thighed pert breasted cheerful woman
http://img165.imagevenue.com/loc357/th_59061_83869004_123_357lo.jpg (http://img165.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=59061_83869004_123_357lo.jpg)

[Rfan]

So i`d try again wishing for the powers of Superman , as it`d be great to be able to fly .But i`d need the rest of his strengths including virtual invulnerability to protect myself from governments agencies attempting to catch and cut me up to see how i manage to fly . Might be more trouble than it`s worth ?. Hell there are so many things we could wish for .

Could be drawbacks to this wish for your love life.

Theres a short story by Larry Niven called 'Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex' - if Superman ever did 'it' Lois 'it' wouldn't be good for Lois. If she survived the actual coupling when he came he would blow her head off.

http://www.larryniven.org/stories/Man_of_Steel_Woman_of_Kleenex.shtml

My three wishes.
1. Good health till the day I die (is death a case of bad health?).
2. That I knew when I was 15 what I know now.
3. That me and my avatar meet and fall in love (awwww).

[the waitress]

3 wishes, well hard to say, the wishes like health, peace and enough money to live are obligatory....
But here are 3 wishes

1. Sex with Kate Bush !
2. Eating and drinking as much as I like without getting fat :-)
3. Bra prohibition elsewhere (like to see braless women...)

[MaxJoker]

I`m a member of simple pleasures and wishes but i do like to be entertained , so that`s what i`d wish for = Entertainment

1) Morning http://img166.imagevenue.com/loc699/th_12750_1_123_699lo.jpg (http://img166.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=12750_1_123_699lo.jpg)

2) Noon http://img126.imagevenue.com/loc1090/th_12759_3_123_1090lo.jpg (http://img126.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=12759_3_123_1090lo.jpg)

3) Night http://img22.imagevenue.com/loc570/th_12903_bondagebaby-s_123_570lo.jpg (http://img22.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=12903_bondagebaby-s_123_570lo.jpg)

:cool:

[MLS]

Peace on Earth for every living being (no murder/rape/child abuse/war/animal cruelty/cancer/terminal illness/car crashes/you know the list/etc.)

Financial stability for everyone in the world

The two hottest Ladies in the world worshipping me and each other in our waterfront Bermuda condo

[MaxJoker]

The Bob just jumped through my window and sung out


" New Wishes be in order for dis our New Year , so name sincere and me might bless you wit`cheer , Mon "


1) To be able to fly ( So i can swoop over the congested roads )
2) Invulnerability ( To help prevent anybody shooting me down )
3) Kimberly Walsh ( Well some things never change )

[brianwp]

Yeah, see, like MLS mentioned, this question goes far beyong the obvious. If you had three wishes, (which I'm sure we all do, but I suppose in this case you mean 3 answered wishes), would they be selfish wishes, or wishes for the betterment of mankind? If they were selfish wishes, I would probably say something like..

Make me in great shape and completely healthy
Make my wife the same, and look like a young Sophia Loren
Make me very, very rich

Or, you could wish for...

World peace and harmony
Healing and health for all the occupants of the world
Make Brian very rich, and in great health with a wife that looks like a young Sophia Loren

Since this was my idea, let's go for the last one,ok? Thanks, Brian

[47Crash]

To meet Eliza Dushku. I won't need the others 'cos I'd die one happy dude!

[welderman]

Ok it happened ,you where staggering home after a long hard day helping keep your local public house in business during these turbulent times and you slip on the pavement. Ending up flat on your back , beside a dirty looking yet shapely bong

http://img169.imagevenue.com/loc1098/th_01071_pb130_123_1098lo.jpg (http://img169.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=01071_pb130_123_1098lo.jpg)

So naturally you roll over and give it a rub , the bong that is and KAZAM a nine foot tall Bob Marley appears in a puff of smoke , which only increases in thickness as he adds to it when he exhales then speaks

http://img232.imagevenue.com/loc106/th_00910_Bob_Marley_123_106lo.jpg (http://img232.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=00910_Bob_Marley_123_106lo.jpg)

"Yeeee mon , you done free me from ma slumber so now get wishes of dat triple number "

:cool:

So that`s the thread , what would you wish for ?

http://img260.imagevenue.com/loc201/th_01425_Man_thinking_123_201lo.jpg (http://img260.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=01425_Man_thinking_123_201lo.jpg)

Oh and just so you know Bob`s also wearing a day glow t-shirt with the sentence "Don`t be asking for more wishes or i tear you a new asshole , ay" written on it :D


I WISH..I Knew Where That Pub Was That You Staggered
Out Of Greenskull...Nothing Like That Ever Happens Round My Way....

[MaxJoker]

I WISH..I Knew Where That Pub Was That You Staggered
Out Of Greenskull...Nothing Like That Ever Happens Round My Way....


Consider that wish granted , as it was that one

http://img143.imagevenue.com/loc21/th_02833_belgianmonk_123_21lo.jpg (http://img143.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=02833_belgianmonk_123_21lo.jpg)

Although i tend to see it from this angle

http://img151.imagevenue.com/loc878/th_02844_norwichbelgianmonk_123_878lo.jpg (http://img151.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=02844_norwichbelgianmonk_123_878lo.j pg)

:D:thumbsup:

[welderman]

What A Splendid Looking Pub...That Bong Was Rather
A Lucky Find..Round My Way You're More Likely To Find,
Half A Kebab And A Pool Of Sick....

[MaxJoker]

One wish be all i need Bob ,just next weeks and this coming weekends lottery numbers.

Then i`d tell my various employers to go shove it and buy somewhere high up with panoramic views of the river either in Newcastle or Dartmouth . Although if it’s Dartmouth i`d maybe also get something i could turn into a crazy book/coffee shop. Because that place is very touristy and if there’s one thing tourists need it’s books to read while on holiday , and i’ve already got enough books to stock a shop, comics too. Of course i`d hire a couple of eager girls to work the coffee machine and till while i oversee them. As i`ll have a semi , i mean , i`ll be semi retired .

Hmmm overseeing a couple of young girls ?, that reminds me i must make sure there’s a condom machine in the staff toilets .


;):thumbsup:

[IngramJohn]

Ok it happened ,you where staggering home after a long hard day helping keep your local public house in business during these turbulent times and you slip on the pavement. Ending up flat on your back , beside a dirty looking yet shapely bong

Mmmmmmmmm good question Greenskull ...

1. Linda Lusardi to re-invent her career as a magician (I can then show her some 'tricks' I have stored in my bedroom)

2. Nottingham Forest to win the Premiership

3. To STOP dreaming!!!

[Night Haunter]

Consider that wish granted , as it was that one

http://img143.imagevenue.com/loc21/th_02833_belgianmonk_123_21lo.jpg (http://img143.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=02833_belgianmonk_123_21lo.jpg)

Although i tend to see it from this angle

http://img151.imagevenue.com/loc878/th_02844_norwichbelgianmonk_123_878lo.jpg (http://img151.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=02844_norwichbelgianmonk_123_878lo.j pg)

:D:thumbsup:

My pub always looks like this!

http://thumbnails10.imagebam.com/7786/c7936377853846.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/c7936377853846)


Then again when I'm drunk my wife looks like this!

http://thumbnails24.imagebam.com/7786/e030a677854715.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/e030a677854715)


Anyway what would my three wishes be... easy...first wish would be to have an infinate number of wishes;) Then I could wish away to my hearts content:)

[BustyEscortLovr]

I'd wish for:
1 - No more STDs for anyone anywhere on the planet.
2 - no more ailments for my family and g/f.
3 - hopefully with #2 my g/f would marry me.

[otiscleotus]

This reminds me of an old favorite cartoon - a newly expired guy is keeled over in his easy chair. A magical fairy with her wand is hovering over his shoulder and saying something to the effect of "...a quick and painless death, now wish #2?".

[blatt]

Excellent thread :) Mine are this

1- To be able to turn invisible and turn anything im holding invisible
2- To be able to pass through solid objects and bring things through with me
3- To be able to see the future of any event or person if i concentrated enough

Think with those wishes granted i could live very comfortably:)All very selfish wishes i know but then im married and live in a tense home. Work for the council in a job i dont like and dont even know if ill still have after this election. So i deserve a treat or three:)

[bravemouth]

1,That I could make anybody I wanted happy at any single moment I wished regardless of how they started off without making someone else miserable.

2,That nobody was able cause anyone else pain or suffering.

3,That I could shag whoever I liked when ever I wanted.......cut me some slack the first 2 were for everyone else,this ones for me

[Ace1965]

1. A billion dollars.

2. Be 6' 3" or so, about 240lbs, have the body of a Greek god, a full head of hair, the most attractive face and be irresistible to women.

3. I think the ability to be invisible that someone mentioned earlier could be a good one.

[mrbation]

Kay Parker, Honey Wilder, Gloria Leonard

[willdollaruk]

For a start.....

Tight Pussy
Loose Shoes
A warm place to ....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJYRJhopcy4

[dorcelfan]

1. My family and relatives be comfortably solvent....not mega rich - just enough to appreciate life.

2. Religion of all forms erased from peoples minds and the history books.

3. A renewable clean source of energy discovered that will stop us tearing the planet apart....


D

[MaxJoker]

http://img252.imagevenue.com/loc190/th_13069_green_superman_123_190lo.jpg (http://img252.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=13069_green_superman_123_190lo.jpg)

Probably wouldn`t need anymore after that one , still it`s always nice to have a couple in the bank ;) :thumbsup:

[billybunter]

Peace, love and happiness for everyone. That sounds cheesy, but I mean it!

[smutwerx]

1: I'd have each couple (or each woman) biologically unable to have more than two kids until the world population fell by 70%, and then I'd have us stay at that level for good.

2: I'd have some mad genius develop a green and infinitely renewable fuel source and then (because he's mad) give it away to all nations for free.

3: I'd be able to shoot like Peter North. I don't even want to contemplate the fun I could have with that.

[Kakker]

Wish number 1... have an unlimited amount of wishes!

[otiscleotus]

Who'd ever need more than one?

http://thumbnails24.imagebam.com/11023/2367ff110224407.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/2367ff110224407)

[victor meldrew]

1. England to host the world cup for a second time.

2. To see the Doors Live

3. Say goodbye to my dad.

[Peau Peep]

Wish number 1... have an unlimited amount of wishes!

You beat me to it!

Mine was gonna be "To have three wiches everyday of my life"

I'm not as greedy as you! :p

[MaxJoker]

You beat me to it!

Mine was gonna be "To have three wiches everyday of my life"

I'm not as greedy as you! :p


But after a several months wouldn`t you be sick of eating them , i mean sure you could vary the fillings but still :confused:


:D

Anyway and as was clearly stated many pages ago you can only have three wishes ,and can`t wish for unlimited wishes because if you do you`ll then be condemned to be haunted by the ghosts of members past.

[rlg118]

1. Peace of mind.

2. To be 18 again, knowing what I know now.

No need for a third wish, if the first two were true.

[Estreeter]

I think, no I'm sure I would ask Jeannie too
1, Blink away the she-male threads on VEF
2, Make sure I had an endless supply of pizza and beer
3, Make me leader of the UN, tabler knows what I'm talking about there, private joke, or is it ?

[tabler]

I think, no I'm sure I would ask Jeannie too
1, Blink away the she-male threads on VEF
2, Make sure I had an endless supply of pizza and beer
3, Make me leader of the UN, tabler knows what I'm talking about there, private joke, or is it ?

Oy vey, I know what you're saying bud.:cool::thumbsup:

[Peau Peep]

1. To make all alcoholic drinks, pizza, kebabs, curry etc healthy (but still taste exactly the same)
2. To have enough money to not have to worry about money again.
3. Perfect health for me and all my family and friends.

[Estreeter]

Oy vey, I know what you're saying bud.:cool::thumbsup:

Well, then I only have 1 more wish, Peter Griffin will be named the world only provider and manufacturer of scarecrows ;););)

[tabler]

Your wish is my command sir.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJtzi0VPK10

[MaxJoker]

1) A bank account fixed at a hundred million that never dropped below that level no matter how many withdrawals i made.
2) To fluently speak and understand every language on earth.
3) The ability to reverse the aging process on whomever i wanted , never more so myself.

[Estreeter]

1) A bank account fixed at a hundred million that never dropped below that level no matter how many withdrawals i made.


Every male on the planet can have that :D
It's just that it's a sperm bank :(

[MaxJoker]

1) To close my eyes right now , be thrown back in time then open them as an eleven year old me again while retaining all the memories i do at this moment of typing.

Don`t need another wish :cool:

Although plenty of others would :D

[grossnex]

OK, I've thought long & hard about this my brothers. ;)

1) I wish for my own island in International Waters with enough highland to survive a tsunami & filled with horny, poly-ethnic girls with big hooters who tell jokes constantly. :D

2) I want my island to be self sufficient as far as energy as well as having the world's largest crop of naturally growing medical grade weed that serves as a fountain of youth to erase & freeze the aging process. :D

3) I'll take a few of those Star Trek replicators for all the food & drink I will ever need. :thumbsup:

Of course it would get kind of lonely on the island, even with all the women. Since I like to share, I would warmly welcome my VEF brothers to join me in eternal bliss. Since we won't be vintage anymore, I'll just call it Erotica Island. :cool:

[Giacson]

1) Getting directly to the greed..unlimited wealth

2) Unlimited good health

3) A new magic bong full of genies that would grant me all the additional wishes I want.

http://img25.imagevenue.com/loc397/th_774627746_wishes_clone_jeannie_122_397lo.jpg (http://img25.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=774627746_wishes_clone_jeannie_122_3 97lo.jpg)

[mellowyellow]

I would wish that as off today an unlimited amount of wishes from my part will be fulfilled

[1952224]

to be invisible
a time machine
an everlasting spliff of the finest sensimillia

[MaxJoker]

I would wish that as off today an unlimited amount of wishes from my part will be fulfilled

" Me sees you as failed to read da first few posts so hav picked a choice dat will get you screwed over da most , Irie "

http://img207.imagevenue.com/loc78/th_37070_images_123_78lo.jpg

[navvet]

Just two wishes;
1. That it was the mid-1960s (when I was a boy), and that I had the maturity then that I have now, and the drive and determination necessary to make my dreams reality.

2. That I always had a full head of hair.

[SpermShooter]

I'd make my parents young again
I'd wish for a Hemi powered Plymouth 'Cuda
I'd bring Bettie Page back to life as my young, loving sex slave

[BigSwede]

An endless flow of money and willing women and good health. :)

[mellowyellow]

I would like someone to successfully launch a campaign for a global 'Let's not get pregnant' year every six years in order to stabilize the world population.
I would like someone to find a cure for allergies
I would like to be the first human to travel at the speed of light

[MisterMacky]

1. Cure for all forms of cancer
2. Patent for velcro
3. a mother and father

[MaxJoker]

1) That Mikey Jackson was alive again and suddenly appeared as a defense witness at his Doctors trial.

Mostly as it`d be priceless to see the members of his family all start sobbing at the realization they had to hand the money back .

Plus watch his two " Sons" turn even paler at the thought of a return to daddies special bath time and tuck in sessions ;)


2) That for a full month politicians , CEO`s and bankers were forced to say the exact truth about how they view us mere mortals.

Since i figure after a month they`d have all been ripped apart by their furious collective populations.


3) That i win enough money on the lottery never to have to worry about working again.

Because it`d make me happy dammit :mad:

:D

[MaxJoker]

1) That everyone could be as happy as me !

2) That there were enough grave diggers to deal with the mass suicides which would then follow the granting of my first wish !

3) That the love of my life had the life she deserves , not that she wants , but that she deserves :D:thumbsup:

[LusciousLarry]

My three wishes:

1.) The ability to "jump" through time and space. So if say, I wanted to visit ancient Rome I could just pop in and out at will. Or pop in to modern day Hawaii for a day at the beach. I would also being able to bring things with me as I pop in and out. No point in showing up somewhere naked.

2.) The ability to read, speak and understand every language currently spoken or dead. No point in being a tourist in 5,000 BC if I cant't speak the language of the locals.

3.) The ability to heal myself and others with just a glancing touch. This would include the disease of aging.

[MaxJoker]

1) For it to be ten inches shorter.
2) Have the ability to turn beer into water.
3) Appear at number 10 and deliver a prolonged arse kicking , like i outta !

[palo5]

1) For it to be ten inches shorter.


Statistically, that wouldn't even leave you with a clitoris, Comrade. Are you sure you mean "inches"? :eek::D:D

[footstep]

Banks open saturday afternoon
my kids clean their rooms
in heaven tobacco and wines shop exist

[MaxJoker]

Are you sure you mean "inches"? :eek::D:D

I know what i mean comrade commissar :mad:

As do all my dislocated jawed post traumatic stressed disorder suffering ex girlfriends :rolleyes:

[palo5]

...

As do all my dislocated jawed post traumatic stressed disorder suffering ex girlfriends :rolleyes:

This sounds dramatic, Comrade, but it could be worse :cool::eek:

What about the religious people who believe in "No child behind left" :eek::eek::eek:

My three wishes:

1. Equality for everyone :thumbsup:

2. I decide what "Equality" means :thumbsup::thumbsup:

3. No one can argue :D:D:D

[keefriff]

Statistically, that wouldn't even leave you with a clitoris, Comrade. :eek::D:D

What's a clitoris? :confused:






;):D

[Jason-X]

I have lots of Wishes!...there's a lot of people I wish I never met, including some family members!...I wish my nees never wen't bad!

[palo5]

What's a clitoris? :confused:


Something that grows on women, Comrade :cool:

It is very small, but quite possibly nutritious because in movies men and women lick them like hyenas in a carcass :eek::cool:

[Estreeter]

Something that grows on women, Comrade :cool:

It is very small, but quite possibly nutritious

So it needs watering obviously, Sir ;)

[Mal Hombre]

What's a clitoris? :confused:
;):D
It's one of the Greek islands,Very hard to find....

[MaxJoker]

1) Nick Clegg`s eyes are awakened to the fact even his own party members can`t bare the very air around him which keeps the tosser alive .
2) George Osbourne spontaneously combusts while sharing a car journey with Dave Cameron, who just happens to have an open pint glass of petrol between his legs.
3) Kimberly Walsh (Hey it`s tradition) suddenly realises i`m the man for her ,and at the very same time becomes allergic to all clothing.

[amantpoche]

It's one of the Greek islands,Very hard to find....

I've heard that this is the one to the right of the island Lesbo ...:rolleyes:
I lived in another life:p:D

:thumbsup:

[Estreeter]

1, I'd love to ban myself from this forum

But wait, there's more

2, I'd love to ban myself from this forum while eating a massive pizza and laughin' my head off

But wait, there's more

3 I'd love to ban myself from this forum while eating a massive pizza and laughin' my head off with Max standing behind me saying "Do it.. Do it" :D