A naked woman on my bed and i didn't know what to do ?

[MaxJoker]

http://img109.imagevenue.com/loc784/th_78997_ugly_woman_123_784lo.jpg (http://img109.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=78997_ugly_woman_123_784lo.jpg)

Throw up everything i've ever eaten ?

Park my motorcycle ?

Or call a Japanese whaling fleet ?

[Futuro]

Run away. And in case that she`s lying in YOUR bed, lock your fridge.
Because here`s the janitor and he thought there was orgy going on and he likes to play with food, massage some jam and peanut butter all over her body etc....
http://img255.imagevenue.com/loc556/th_85833_Tilannekuva_2009-01-26_16-59-55_123_556lo.jpg (http://img255.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=85833_Tilannekuva_2009-01-26_16-59-55_123_556lo.jpg)

[tobe2165]

where did you buy that bed?
It´s a Top Quality item,made it to last forever!

[Futuro]

where did buy that bed?
It´s a Top Quality item,made it to last forever!

It`s maybe stolen from NASA. Special-suspension!

[Peter Parker]

You need to roll her in flour.
Then look for the wet spot - that's where you need to go.

[slowdiver]

So being a brave soldier, I climbed aboard and started getting my jollies.

But after five minutes, I said "Is it alright if i turn the light out?"

She said "why, is my extreme obesity so horrendous that you have to make love to me in the dark?"

I said "no, it's just that every time I pull out, I burn my ass cheeks on the lightbulb..."

[Rogerbh]

I knew a guy who screwed a real fat girl.

During the "act", she started laughing at him.

He asked why.

She said he was screwing her fat.

[Futuro]

Is it true? It can be! I first thought that she might laughed to guy because he was smaller than her!
I wouldn`t never do it with so fat lady, if she get angry she might just sit on me.
But if I would be a very fat girl and guy screws my fat, I definitely laugh loud!!!

http://img106.imagevenue.com/loc363/th_18472_2612487525_cca08a6ee0_123_363lo.jpg (http://img106.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=18472_2612487525_cca08a6ee0_123_363l o.jpg)

[Estreeter]

http://img109.imagevenue.com/loc784/th_78997_ugly_woman_123_784lo.jpg (http://img109.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=78997_ugly_woman_123_784lo.jpg)

Throw up everything i've ever eaten ?

Park my motorcycle ?

Or call a Japanese whaling fleet ?

I'd just get a pin out, prick it and let it burst:D

[tobe2165]

http://img106.imagevenue.com/loc363/th_18472_2612487525_cca08a6ee0_123_363lo.jpg (http://img106.imagevenue.com/img.php?loc=loc363&image=18472_2612487525_cca08a6ee0_123_363lo.jpg)
[QUOTE=Futuro;526425]Is it true? It can be! I first thought that she might laughed to guy because he was smaller than her!
I wouldn`t never do it with so fat lady, if she get angry she might just sit on me.


"_Calling out all the facesit lovers!!! You better get ready! This is your Ultimate Challenge!
Forget about Ali X Foreman,"Rumble in the Jungle" and all that crap!
If you survive this,you will be "The Greatest" !!!

[billybunter]

I would suggest you try the doggie position.

[Peter Parker]

I would suggest you try the doggie position.

Yeh - but he would need a ladder or cherry picker to get high enough.

[MaxJoker]

Yeh - but he would need a ladder or cherry picker to get high enough.


Not forgetting two cranes to part those erm , they`re legs right ?.

http://img168.imagevenue.com/loc920/th_41773_111111_123_920lo.jpg (http://img168.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=41773_111111_123_920lo.jpg)

Anyway i tried to get rid of Blanche but couldn`t get the butterball out of my bed. Don't actually know if that`s her name as her mouths always chewing burgers, and she can't nod due to her lack of a neck . Can`t even find out how or why she got here as her fingers are too covered in grease to hold a pen.
Oh and in answer to some questions i bought the bed during my last holiday, to Krypton !.
Anyway she won`t budge ,even after i deep fried a whole pig and left it by the front door to tempt her. As i figure i get her close enough to open air and with my foot on her back ( Don't worry i`ll wear snowshoes ) the force of gravity might send her spinning out and into space , as i think i read somewhere that two immense masses can`t exist (The planet and of course her) in the same place or something ?.
Still for now and to earn a buck i`ve brought a second hand projector and started showing movies on her stomach for the local kids , had a bit of problem the night before last as the thing broke down.Just lucky i`d advertised the evening film as The Blob as all i had to do was turn up the lights and let sights speak for themselves, pity though as that night sales of popcorn dropped though the floor :(

[kiwi]

where did you buy that bed?
It´s a Top Quality item,made it to last forever!

Ikea? :p

Kiwi

[kiwi]

http://img168.imagevenue.com/loc920/th_41773_111111_123_920lo.jpg (http://img168.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=41773_111111_123_920lo.jpg)



That's the 1st camel-toe shot I've ever seen without panties

...think I might be going to vomit :eek:

Kiwi

[joachim]

That's the 1st camel-toe shot I've ever seen without panties

...think I might be going to vomit :eek:

Kiwi



hehe..............:-))

[MaxJoker]

That's the 1st camel-toe shot I've ever seen without panties
Kiwi


Oh i forgot to explain she actually landed on my bed face down , but since i couldn't move the lady (?) i just ended up twisting her head a 180 degrees so she could wheeze easier . Hope that helps avoid any further misunderstands :D

[19gc19]

I've no "ikea", sorry!

[mjefferys1]

I would suggest you try the doggie position.

Think I would rather try the dog.....

[Estreeter]

This is how she got to be such a lovely lady

http://img42.imagevenue.com/loc372/th_01158_111_123_372lo.jpg (http://img42.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=01158_111_123_372lo.jpg)

:D:D:D:D:D

[goldentaurus2001]

http://img109.imagevenue.com/loc784/th_78997_ugly_woman_123_784lo.jpg (http://img109.imagevenue.com/img.php?loc=loc784&image=78997_ugly_woman_123_784lo.jpg)
Now you know the result, if you were drunken and you have fucked the
Thanksgiving turkey!

:eek::eek::eek:

Greetz
goldentaurus2001

[jonny99]

You are a very sick man,Skull. I love that about you!

[mjefferys1]

A naked woman on my bed and i didn't know what to do ? (http://www.vintage-erotica-forum.com/showthread.php?t=53670)

http://img109.imagevenue.com/loc784/th_78997_ugly_woman_123_784lo.jpg (http://img109.imagevenue.com/img.php?loc=loc784&image=78997_ugly_woman_123_784lo.jpg)

Scream, Panic, Run away and if all else fails beg for mercy.
Never never let her get on top.

[tobe2165]

http://img168.imagevenue.com/loc920/th_41773_111111_123_920lo.jpg (http://img168.imagevenue.com/img.php?loc=loc920&image=41773_111111_123_920lo.jpg)

"_Hello...
_Blanche? It´s Dad.How are you,my dear?
_I´m fine,Dad....some neck pain....no,ít´s not the pillow nor the bed.In fact,he has a pretty good one...I´m not shure,he said something about Krypton...it must be a new brand in the market...Oh,watching movies,popcorn,I meet some of his friends...
_I don´t think he´s the right man for you but if you´re happy...
_He´s in pretty good shape,Dad.His body fat percentage is amazing! Never see something like that...I love it!"

[MaxJoker]

- " Dad , dad you still there ? "

" Yeah Blanche , now hurry up and speak your peace i`m screwing my sister "

- " Oh how is mom ?"

" Ugh very loose , imagine a deflated Hindenburg and you`re almost there now what is it ? "

- " That handsome guy who`s bed i`m crushing seems happy ,and i`m a getting worried "

" What he hitting you with that mallet again and crying ? "

- " Oh no , that broke ,still he`s been collecting a mass of fire wood and stacking it under this bed "

" Ignore it ,probably nothing "

- " Plus he`s also soaked the mattress with petrol "

" Well accidents happen , forget it "

- " And is looking up BBQ sauce recipes "

" Holy hell he wouldn't , he couldn`t !, listen up my girl the next time you see that grinning devil you tell him something from me "

- " Ok Dad , what "

" Does he need a light ? "


http://img151.imagevenue.com/loc210/th_70127_ManWhoLaughs_123_210lo.jpg (http://img151.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=70127_ManWhoLaughs_123_210lo.jpg)

[tobe2165]

http://thumbnails12.imagebam.com/2555/c1dca025547860.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/c1dca025547860)

_You go,man!
_Screw it! she´s chubby like you,you go!
_Like me?!?! I´m a Greek Beauty Goddess compares to that thing....
_There´s nothing on the book about how to handle such....what are you doing,man?... Let go off my hand!
_I´m scared! Hold me...

[buggeration]

A naked woman on my bed and i didn't know what to do ? (http://www.vintage-erotica-forum.com/showthread.php?t=53670)

http://img109.imagevenue.com/loc784/th_78997_ugly_woman_123_784lo.jpg (http://img109.imagevenue.com/img.php?loc=loc784&image=78997_ugly_woman_123_784lo.jpg)

Scream, Panic, Run away and if all else fails beg for mercy.
Never never let her get on top.

I screwed a woman like that once and burned my arse on the light bulb!!

[MaxJoker]

"Oooooooh great bonfire , and he even provided marshmellows "
http://img40.imagevenue.com/loc449/th_45392_A_123_449lo.jpg (http://img40.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=45392_A_123_449lo.jpg)


"Those aren`t marshmellows "
http://img183.imagevenue.com/loc211/th_45689_SHINGGG1_123_211lo.jpg (http://img183.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=45689_SHINGGG1_123_211lo.jpg)


"Aaaaarrrgggghhhhhhhh ! "
http://img170.imagevenue.com/loc756/th_45398_B_123_756lo.jpg (http://img170.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=45398_B_123_756lo.jpg)


" Shut up and start smiling "
http://img21.imagevenue.com/loc154/th_45683_SHINGGG2_123_154lo.jpeg (http://img21.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=45683_SHINGGG2_123_154lo.jpeg)


http://img229.imagevenue.com/loc246/th_45400_D_123_246lo.jpg (http://img229.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=45400_D_123_246lo.jpg)


" Good now enjoy the party"
http://img250.imagevenue.com/loc589/th_45682_SHIN1_123_589lo.jpg (http://img250.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=45682_SHIN1_123_589lo.jpg)


http://img227.imagevenue.com/loc121/th_46380_DESSERT_123_121lo.jpg (http://img227.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=46380_DESSERT_123_121lo.jpg)


" Who the hell ?, that`s for desert ! "
http://img158.imagevenue.com/loc435/th_45690_SHIN3_123_435lo.jpg (http://img158.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=45690_SHIN3_123_435lo.jpg)


http://img14.imagevenue.com/loc99/th_45402_E_123_99lo.jpg (http://img14.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=45402_E_123_99lo.jpg)


" And you get the fuck off my poll "
http://img105.imagevenue.com/loc431/th_45690_SHINGG3_123_431lo.jpg (http://img105.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=th_45690_SHINGG3_123_431lo.jpg)

[tobe2165]

http://thumbnails2.imagebam.com/2563/20a47825629050.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/20a47825629050)

"Burn baby burn!"

http://thumbnails16.imagebam.com/2563/1c06c725629052.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/1c06c725629052)

[MaxJoker]

"Mr GreenSkull sir , just wanted to thank you for helping ma little girl lose weight "
http://img253.imagevenue.com/loc388/th_46026_funny-pictures-the-man-with-two-but_123_388lo.jpg (http://img253.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=46026_funny-pictures-the-man-with-two-but_123_388lo.jpg)

"Good well you have so how about you take your circus act and go wobble off into heavy traffic "
http://img207.imagevenue.com/loc343/th_46587_A3_123_343lo.jpg (http://img207.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=46587_A3_123_343lo.jpg)


"Tee Hee , can`t believe i can finally fit into this g-string again"
http://img257.imagevenue.com/loc188/th_46035_obese_123_188lo.jpg (http://img257.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=46035_obese_123_188lo.jpg)

"Yeah and i can`t believe that fabric is actually begging me to kill it "
http://img126.imagevenue.com/loc637/th_46561_A1_123_637lo.jpg (http://img126.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=46561_A1_123_637lo.jpg)

"Oi you roasted my first cousin wife and so must taste my cheesy foot of death "
http://img145.imagevenue.com/loc1134/th_46027_flying-jump-kick_123_1134lo.jpg (http://img145.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=46027_flying-jump-kick_123_1134lo.jpg)

"Cheap shot chubby, now i`m gonna shove that leg up your arse and turn you into a popsicle "
http://img155.imagevenue.com/loc1067/th_46572_A2_123_1067lo.JPG (http://img155.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=46572_A2_123_1067lo.JPG)

[tobe2165]

http://img152.imagevenue.com/loc812/th_51257_oprahyougogirl_122_812lo.jpg (http://img152.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=51257_oprahyougogirl_122_812lo.jpg)

"_Heads up,Blanche! Face that challenge! You have SOOO much to offer!"

[tobe2165]

http://thumbnails13.imagebam.com/2603/2c37ff26025085.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/2c37ff26025085)http://thumbnails9.imagebam.com/2603/5bc9e626025086.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/5bc9e626025086)

Thanks to Oprah and the amazing brazilian plastic surgeon Ivo Pitanguy(http://thumbnails10.imagebam.com/2603/d93f0626021824.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/d93f0626021824) "_I´m the greatest! Now I can retire in peace.Nothing,no one can beat that!") I got over him.
I look wonderfull and have my own band now(The Blanche Revenge)! Our first single( Lily Allen´s "Smile" cover) will be a hit so keep your eyes open for the next "Top of the Pops".
Michele Stodart is the producer http://thumbnails11.imagebam.com/2603/158a8126023914.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/158a8126023914) and I´m dating a sexy and famous actor http://thumbnails14.imagebam.com/2603/b49a2c26024462.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/b49a2c26024462)

[kiwi]

I tried to talk her out of it, as any decent boyfriend would ...

http://img212.imagevenue.com/loc227/th_21938_1032_123_227lo.jpg (http://img212.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=21938_1032_123_227lo.jpg)

[MaxJoker]

http://img152.imagevenue.com/loc812/th_51257_oprahyougogirl_122_812lo.jpg (http://img152.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=51257_oprahyougogirl_122_812lo.jpg)


"No you go , and take those extra pinkies with you"

http://img258.imagevenue.com/loc56/th_68627_X1_123_56lo.jpg (http://img258.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=68627_X1_123_56lo.jpg)


http://img249.imagevenue.com/loc447/th_68628_six_toes_123_447lo.jpg (http://img249.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=68628_six_toes_123_447lo.jpg)

"And don`t forget Steadman "
http://img196.imagevenue.com/loc743/th_69286_X4_123_743lo.jpg (http://img196.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=69286_X4_123_743lo.jpg)

http://img248.imagevenue.com/loc505/th_69291_X5_123_505lo.jpg (http://img248.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=69291_X5_123_505lo.jpg)

[Estreeter]

I tried to talk her out of it, as any decent boyfriend would ...

http://img212.imagevenue.com/loc227/th_21938_1032_123_227lo.jpg (http://img212.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=21938_1032_123_227lo.jpg)

This is one of those situations that end in a stampede for the exits:D

[tobe2165]

"No you go , and take those extra pinkies with you"


http://thumbnails.imagebam.com/2629/86b17726283900.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/86b17726283900)

"Every time you go away you take a piece of me with you..."

[MaxJoker]

http://thumbnails.imagebam.com/2629/86b17726283900.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/86b17726283900)

"Every time you go away you take a piece of me with you..."



" A piece , try a hundred weight "
http://img42.imagevenue.com/loc176/th_42567_1_123_176lo.jpg (http://img42.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=42567_1_123_176lo.jpg)

"Have you any idea the difficulty , why the fuel costs alone"
http://img120.imagevenue.com/loc869/th_42580_5_123_869lo.jpg (http://img120.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=42580_5_123_869lo.jpg)


"But aren`t i worth the trouble "
http://img249.imagevenue.com/loc448/th_42592_8_123_448lo.jpg (http://img249.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=42592_8_123_448lo.jpg)

"You ain`t worth dry dog shit you arse voiced pork shoveling Mamma Cass wannabe"
http://img109.imagevenue.com/loc852/th_42575_3_123_852lo.jpg (http://img109.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=42575_3_123_852lo.jpg)

"Sob"
http://img107.imagevenue.com/loc20/th_42585_6_123_20lo.jpg (http://img107.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=42585_6_123_20lo.jpg)

"Ok i`ll eat some to help , but i`d still like you to meet my parents "
http://img14.imagevenue.com/loc507/th_42586_7_123_507lo.jpg (http://img14.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=42586_7_123_507lo.jpg)


" Well hello there GreenSkull you look like a hip sort of fella, ever thought of swinging ?"
http://img138.imagevenue.com/loc407/th_42593_lard_porker_123_407lo.jpg (http://img138.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=42593_lard_porker_123_407lo.jpg)


" !?! "
http://img135.imagevenue.com/loc698/th_42594_11_123_698lo.jpeg (http://img135.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=42594_11_123_698lo.jpeg)

[tobe2165]

"_I don´t wanna become just a housewife,Dad...I Know that..but it´s a steady job,good payment,he has a big car and,let´s face it,been a boy scout leader it´s a everybody´s dream http://img109.imagevenue.com/loc852/th_42575_3_123_852lo.jpg (http://img109.imagevenue.com/img.php?loc=loc852&image=42575_3_123_852lo.jpg)...he has been charged,that´s true,but I don´t buy it.The kids love him!

The thing is:I´m an independent woman.I have my hobbies."The Blanche Revenge" will be the opening band for Meatloaf new tour http://thumbnails12.imagebam.com/2638/288b5126379854.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/288b5126379854)

I´m saving money to buy my own Glider http://thumbnails14.imagebam.com/2639/c157c526380056.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/c157c526380056)

...and I´ve been doing this for so long.I LOVE babysitting.It´s so much fun!"

http://thumbnails.imagebam.com/2639/4cc18d26380505.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/4cc18d26380505) http://thumbnails16.imagebam.com/2639/897f1026380506.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/897f1026380506) http://thumbnails13.imagebam.com/2639/d0292026380507.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/d0292026380507)

[kiwi]

http://img212.imagevenue.com/loc227/th_21938_1032_123_227lo.jpg (http://img212.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=21938_1032_123_227lo.jpg)

This is one of those situations that end in a stampede for the exits:D

As long as the fat cow doesn't land on top of me in the stampede to the door...

Kiwi

[blatt]

http://img109.imagevenue.com/loc784/th_78997_ugly_woman_123_784lo.jpg (http://img109.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=78997_ugly_woman_123_784lo.jpg)

Throw up everything i've ever eaten ?

Park my motorcycle ?

Or call a Japanese whaling fleet ?



Suddenly my own missus does not look so bad :eek:

Least i can work out where her boobs end and stomach starts :eek:

Also hope that slit between her legs is not what i think it is :confused:

Otherwise she would be the first woman in history with a gash big enough to give birth to sperm whale :eek:

[wuadey]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxMmw1uj19s

Look what happened to her brother!:eek:

[Estreeter]

I'd just rent a few DVD's and order THIS (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=243oNjlU3so), then we'd both be satisfied :D

[BustyEscortLovr]

A friend of mine once said "Fucking a fat girl is like riding a moped - it can be fun, but you sure as hell do not want your friends seeing you do it."

[MaxJoker]

A friend of mine once said "Fucking a fat girl is like riding a moped - it can be fun, but you sure as hell do not want your friends seeing you do it."


It is just like riding a moped , never more so as you need to have insurance :thumbsup:

Don`t just mean if she is hoisted on top of you during hot and bloody heavy love play - Leaves room to briefly vomit - , i`m talking about if she sits on furniture better designed for human beings !


http://img186.imagevenue.com/loc137/th_57184_fat_women_123_137lo.jpg (http://img186.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=57184_fat_women_123_137lo.jpg)


Oh the huge-manity :eek:

[Doulfella]

Having looked at this poor unfortunate lady, I have to agree with another member his wife and my wife are s l i m in comparison. A sat nav would have difficulty getting around her. If I were to make an incursion into/onto her I would need to have a rope on my feet (and HELP written on my soles) to anchor myself to reality.

[TheSharpEye]

This thread and all who replied in it is now BANNED! :mad:



(Eventhough I LOLed...) :o




What has been seen can not be unseen...

[MaxJoker]

This thread and all who replied in it is now BANNED! :mad:

Something tells me that ruling might not legally stand up ;)

[tobe2165]

Something tells me that ruling might not legally stand up ;)

It will stand up! That´s Right,you heartless thread starter!!! Blanche here.I gave you everything(and it was a LOT!) and you´re still with this thing.
HUUF!...Just let me finish here and you will see,GK,GS,whatever the hell is your name!

http://img194.imagevenue.com/loc376/th_79638_tumblr_lf6jdiancL1qc61ggo1_500_122_376lo. jpg (http://img194.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=79638_tumblr_lf6jdiancL1qc61ggo1_500 _122_376lo.jpg)

[stphdn8]

http://img109.imagevenue.com/loc784/th_78997_ugly_woman_123_784lo.jpg (http://img109.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=78997_ugly_woman_123_784lo.jpg)

Throw up everything i've ever eaten ?

Park my motorcycle ?

Or call a Japanese whaling fleet ?

Holly crap - how'd you get a picture of my ex?



Bitter? Yes, yes I am lol

[bp666]

Congrats GS, I see that you managed to get her out of your house. You did have to bring in the big guns though:D I hope you get the window replaced soon as it might be a tad frosty;)

http://img166.imagevenue.com/loc445/th_87339_fat_crane_01_122_445lo.jpg (http://img166.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=87339_fat_crane_01_122_445lo.jpg)

http://img191.imagevenue.com/loc385/th_87342_fat_crane_02_122_385lo.jpg (http://img191.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=87342_fat_crane_02_122_385lo.jpg)

[MaxJoker]

Congrats GS, I see that you managed to get her out of your house.


Yeah i finally got that half a lump out , but that was just the start of my problems :(

All this time i thought she`d been sitting on a couch she herself had brought with her :confused:

Turns out she`d been sitting on her even uglier sister , seen here in an old picture taken from space :(

http://img240.imagevenue.com/loc161/th_36016_brand_123_161lo.jpg (http://img240.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=36016_brand_123_161lo.jpg)

Always though it strange how she kept stuffing burgers down the back of the sofa :(

[bawjaws]

http://img146.imagevenue.com/loc182/th_67635_sexy_thong_123_182lo.jpg (http://img146.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=67635_sexy_thong_123_182lo.jpg)
Yes

[bp666]

http://img177.imagevenue.com/loc150/th_96956_fat01_123_150lo.jpg (http://img177.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=96956_fat01_123_150lo.jpg)
It's all fun and that having a big hood ornament, until she moves off and you see the damage to the bonnet.

http://img206.imagevenue.com/loc475/th_96957_fat02_123_475lo.jpg (http://img206.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=96957_fat02_123_475lo.jpg)

I think someone did squeeze her at the top and it all popped out at the bottom

[Mr Bond]

Just a solution, a good one.
With all that girls, if you want to :p, just drink before.
With a good old english beer ( or more, of course ), everything is possible.... :D

http://thumbnails37.imagebam.com/11809/c6ba80118087082.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/c6ba80118087082)

[Mal Hombre]

http://img146.imagevenue.com/loc182/th_67635_sexy_thong_123_182lo.jpg (http://img146.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=67635_sexy_thong_123_182lo.jpg)
Yes

That's not a thong, it used to be bermuda shorts....

[MaxJoker]

Just a solution, a good one.
With all that girls, if you want to :p, just drink before.
With a good old english beer ( or more, of course ), everything is possible.... :D


Although with some bigger land based mammals it`s wiser to go for something stronger , namely the crack option , especially if you`re intending on venture anywhere near hers :eek:

http://s4.postimage.org/2vmre3z38/fat_Woman_Sitting_On_Man.jpg (http://postimage.org/image/2vmre3z38/)


Oh the lard- manity !

[Mr Bond]

from GreenSkull :
Although with some bigger land based mammals it`s wiser to go for something stronger , namely the crack option , especially if you`re intending on venture anywhere near hers
:D:D

Yeah, I think one or two bottles of my friend Jim Beam will be right.
But, I'm not sure... So, how be a winner ? :confused:
She can do sports. But a long, very long time to wait... RV in 2O years !
http://thumbnails34.imagebam.com/11811/d27388118107463.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/d27388118107463)

She can take medecine to eliminate.... But also a very long time to wait before she became OK again... ( and keep an eye on her. It's not sure she can do in.. )
http://thumbnails35.imagebam.com/11811/fc4025118107953.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/fc4025118107953)

One solution is : drink and go on the first fold you see. And imagine... Or under a breast, it can be cool....
http://thumbnails35.imagebam.com/11811/178d1d118108428.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/178d1d118108428)

Or you can... Oh my God..... I just want to say..... :eek: OH SHIT ! Excuse me... :eek: IT'S TOO LATE !
http://thumbnails37.imagebam.com/11811/12082b118108949.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/12082b118108949)


:thumbsup:

[mjefferys1]

That's not a thong, it used to be bermuda shorts....

http://img146.imagevenue.com/loc182/th_67635_sexy_thong_123_182lo.jpg (http://img146.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=67635_sexy_thong_123_182lo.jpg)

Yes and that's all they can find of the poor guy that was wearing them

[MaxJoker]

http://img146.imagevenue.com/loc182/th_67635_sexy_thong_123_182lo.jpg (http://img146.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=67635_sexy_thong_123_182lo.jpg)


More like her ass makes this planet look small :eek:

[glyn]

Thanks to all these gals,I've realised my old woman is ok!

[MaxJoker]

I've realised my old woman is ok!

Well i wouldn`t say she`s ok , but i`ve asked around and the consensus is she could be worse ;) :thumbsup:

[Estreeter]

Thanks to all these gals,!

Gals ?
Where ?
The only thing I saw in this thread that came even close to resembling a Gal is your avatar :p

[MaxJoker]

Gals ?
Where ?
The only thing I saw in this thread that came even close to resembling a Gal is your avatar :p

You`re not kidding there pal , i`ve seen better looking things in the bottom of rusty old rice pudding tins :eek:

Speaking of which i came back home earlier and found another over qualified sumo in my flat :confused:

She wanted to know if her new jeans suited her :eek:

http://img187.imagevenue.com/loc54/th_92662_6a0105349ca980970c0147e097d4b6970b_500wi_ 123_54lo.jpg (http://img187.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=92662_6a0105349ca980970c0147e097d4b6 970b_500wi_123_54lo.jpg)


Me i just wanted to know who stitched the material together , and if the steel cable they`d used was at all uncomfortable :D

[Estreeter]

http://img187.imagevenue.com/loc54/th_92662_6a0105349ca980970c0147e097d4b6970b_500wi_ 123_54lo.jpg (http://img187.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=92662_6a0105349ca980970c0147e097d4b6 970b_500wi_123_54lo.jpg)


Did She Do Anal ?

I promised I'd never ask that question. but I think in this case I have to know, just to find out who did it and ask him, WHY ?

[MaxJoker]

Did She Do Anal ?

I promised I'd never ask that question. but I think in this case I have to know, just to find out who did it and ask him, WHY ?

Did she do it :confused:

By the look on her face i`d say she never stopped :D

[Mal Hombre]

Did She Do Anal ?

I promised I'd never ask that question. but I think in this case I have to know, just to find out who did it and ask him, WHY ?
Trouble is He's still in there,He never found His way out:eek:

[kelio]

Trouble is He's still in there,He never found His way out:eek:

http://ist1-3.filesor.com/pimpandhost.com/1/_/_/_/1/r/3/n/F/r3nF/51lx9aJiUTL._SL500_AA300__0.jpg (http://pimpandhost.com/image/show/id/6447855)

No need to buy paint :D
And brown is a nice color :thumbsup:
http://ist1-2.filesor.com/pimpandhost.com/1/_/_/_/1/r/3/n/K/r3nK/rouleau-peinture_0.jpg (http://pimpandhost.com/image/show/id/6447860)

[Mr Bond]

A new jeans.... Bad news :D

http://thumbnails38.imagebam.com/11859/7fde4c118588352.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/7fde4c118588352)

But...... OOOHHHHHH ! It's MY CAR !!!!:eek:

http://thumbnails32.imagebam.com/11859/2994a9118587836.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/2994a9118587836)

Huummmm.... It WAS my car :mad:

[Mr Bond]

We have a problem. :(
She is cold.... And she needs a suppository.... :eek:
Good luck, male nurses :D

http://thumbnails38.imagebam.com/11870/f2f75b118691855.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/f2f75b118691855)

[Mr Bond]

Yes.... I didn't know what to do...

http://thumbnails28.imagebam.com/11954/f9c861119536726.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/f9c861119536726)
:D:thumbsup:

[MaxJoker]

Yes.... I didn't know what to do...

http://thumbnails28.imagebam.com/11954/f9c861119536726.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/f9c861119536726)
:D:thumbsup:

Well i`d suggest eating your way to freedom , but in this case death might be preferable :D

[Mr Bond]

From GreenSkull :
Well i`d suggest eating your way to freedom , but in this case death might be preferable

Thank's my friend. Good idea ! Very good ! :thumbsup:

http://thumbnails41.imagebam.com/11965/33137f119643536.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/33137f119643536)
:eek::D:thumbsup:

[Mr Bond]

Oh my God, her has two sisters !
Please, help me, friends !

http://thumbnails36.imagebam.com/12035/a182f0120347564.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/a182f0120347564)

:D

[Mr Bond]

A naked woman on my bed and i didn't know what to do ?
Look at that one ( not a fake ).
How can I make love with Donald Duck ? :eek:

http://thumbnails25.imagebam.com/12061/63d4d1120600521.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/63d4d1120600521)

:eek::D:thumbsup:

[MaxJoker]

A naked woman on my bed and i didn't know what to do ?
Look at that one ( not a fake ).
How can I make love with Donald Duck ? :eek:

http://thumbnails25.imagebam.com/12061/63d4d1120600521.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/63d4d1120600521)

:eek::D:thumbsup:


Not a fake :rolleyes:

She`s more fake than that seven pound note i used to buy a pint at Wetherspoons last night ;)

Mind you she could prove useful to have around the house :thumbsup:

Like if your sink became blocked and you needed a plunger :D

[Mr Bond]

I found the solution. We went to the Chinese restaurant.
She found it mortal.:D

http://thumbnails36.imagebam.com/12067/a5306a120669247.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/a5306a120669247)

But... What can I say to her mother ? :D

http://thumbnails39.imagebam.com/12067/68ae08120669259.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/68ae08120669259)

And to her sister ?:D:D:D:D

http://thumbnails37.imagebam.com/12067/00284d120669295.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/00284d120669295)

[hardcore_punkl]

Damnnnnnnnn !!!...in the first picture of this thread ....is that her ass or Pussy...???

[Rogerbh]

It is her belly button "slit"

[Mr Bond]

A naked woman on my bed and I didn't know what to do ?
I know what to do. I cry. :D

http://thumbnails35.imagebam.com/12115/afbf8a121141363.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/afbf8a121141363)

[Mr Bond]

A naked woman on my bed and i didn't know what to do ?

Yes, with that one, I don't know what to do.... :confused:

http://thumbnails40.imagebam.com/12127/92cf99121266591.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/92cf99121266591)

For that one... Same thing.... :D

http://thumbnails36.imagebam.com/12127/da93b8121266597.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/da93b8121266597)

Or hang miself...

[Peau Peep]

Yes.... I didn't know what to do...

http://thumbnails28.imagebam.com/11954/f9c861119536726.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/f9c861119536726)
:D:thumbsup:

They say that inside every fat woman there's a thin woman.

Hers is trying to escape, by the look of it!

[MaxJoker]

A naked woman on my bed and I didn't know what to do ?
I know what to do. I cry. :D

http://thumbnails35.imagebam.com/12115/afbf8a121141363.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/afbf8a121141363)


I`m crying too as that sure ain`t no woman :eek:

Remember Jamie " Massive boobs do not a woman make " ;)

Because if they did every member of this present and last government would have been chicks :D

[bawjaws]

see- if you had a naked woman like this, if you turned her over , you wouldn't need a bed... you'd have a human beanbag

http://img275.imagevenue.com/loc588/th_106626133_fatbeachpatrol03_01_640x480_2500k_wmv _snapshot_17_01_2011_02_20_21_49_16_123_588lo.jpg (http://img275.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=106626133_fatbeachpatrol03_01_640x48 0_2500k_wmv_snapshot_17_01_2011_02_20_21_49_16_123 _588lo.jpg)

[Estreeter]

see- if you had a naked woman like this, if you turned her over , you wouldn't need a bed... you'd have a human beanbag

http://img275.imagevenue.com/loc588/th_106626133_fatbeachpatrol03_01_640x480_2500k_wmv _snapshot_17_01_2011_02_20_21_49_16_123_588lo.jpg (http://img275.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=106626133_fatbeachpatrol03_01_640x48 0_2500k_wmv_snapshot_17_01_2011_02_20_21_49_16_123 _588lo.jpg)

That's true, but with a horrible thought.
Once in a while a beanbag will split and have the beans spill around................not so sure I'd want to see what comes out of that particular human beanbag if it were to split open :(

[MaxJoker]

not so sure I'd want to see what comes out of that particular human beanbag if it were to split open :(

I don`t know , they do say inside every fat chick etc etc ;)

Mind you in this blubbery beauties case i`d say there must be half a dozen thin girls in there :eek:


http://img185.imagevenue.com/loc129/th_915793747_ugly_fat_girl_bikini_old_woman_pictur es_123_129lo.jpg (http://img185.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=915793747_ugly_fat_girl_bikini_old_w oman_pictures_123_129lo.jpg)


:D

[Estreeter]

I don`t know , they do say inside every fat chick etc etc ;)

Mind you in this blubbery beauties case i`d say there must be half a dozen thin girls in there :eek:

http://thumbnails28.imagebam.com/12194/b744dc121934144.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/b744dc121934144) http://thumbnails9.imagebam.com/12194/be0509121934168.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/be0509121934168)
Don't forget her equally pretty :rolleyes: twin sister, just so we can have an even dozen

[MaxJoker]

http://thumbnails28.imagebam.com/12194/b744dc121934144.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/b744dc121934144) http://thumbnails9.imagebam.com/12194/be0509121934168.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/be0509121934168)
Don't forget her equally pretty :rolleyes: twin sister, just so we can have an even dozen

Or their gigantic gorgeous mother , seen here working out :thumbsup:


http://img43.imagevenue.com/loc243/th_915936176_fat_woman_lat_pull_downs_396x499_123_ 243lo.jpg (http://img43.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=915936176_fat_woman_lat_pull_downs_3 96x499_123_243lo.jpg)

Whether she should have eaten that entire pig for dinner , or left the trotters and tail until after she`d burnt up a few hundred thousand calories :D

[bawjaws]

well if you guys are into group sex....

http://img272.imagevenue.com/loc8/th_166853976_fatbeachpatrol03_04_640x480_2500k_wmv _snapshot_13_32_2011_02_20_21_53_42_123_8lo.jpg (http://img272.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=166853976_fatbeachpatrol03_04_640x48 0_2500k_wmv_snapshot_13_32_2011_02_20_21_53_42_123 _8lo.jpg)

[Mal Hombre]

Those gals can have group sex on their own:eek:

[MaxJoker]

Those gals can have group sex on their own:eek:


No that`s something i`d pay a great deal of money , not to see !


:D

[Peau Peep]

That's true, but with a horrible thought.
Once in a while a beanbag will split and have the beans spill around................not so sure I'd want to see what comes out of that particular human beanbag if it were to split open :(

Gravy would be my guess.

[MaxJoker]

Gravy would be my guess.

So much probably that even this Sith Lord (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/8367589.stm) and his cronies wouldn`t be able to mop it up !

http://img276.imagevenue.com/loc169/th_38349_Herman_Van_Rompuy_1515613c_123_169lo.jpg (http://img276.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=38349_Herman_Van_Rompuy_1515613c_123 _169lo.jpg)

Anyway to keep on topic here`s a photo of Miss Poland , showing the looks and talent which enabled her to rise above the herd :D

http://s2.postimage.org/4jk4dns4/tumblr_lgn4f2if_Fm1qzhifqo1_400.jpg (http://postimage.org/image/4jk4dns4/)

[Estreeter]

Anyway to keep on topic here`s a photo of Miss Poland , showing the looks and talent which enabled her to rise above the herd :D

http://s2.postimage.org/4jk4dns4/tumblr_lgn4f2if_Fm1qzhifqo1_400.jpg (http://postimage.org/image/4jk4dns4/)

WOW !
She needs her own thread, more of her ?
On a bed please :thumbsup:

[MaxJoker]

WOW !
She needs her own thread, more of her ?
On a bed please :thumbsup:

I agree :cool:

Sadly i`ve only found the one photo of her and that`s one she took herself :(

Does seem quite strange that there are no others :confused:

Until you discover every photographer she ever contacted then killed themselves :D

[Estreeter]

Until you discover every photographer she ever contacted then killed themselves :D

She must have been a master of playing hard to get then, Bitch :mad:

[MaxJoker]

She must have been a master of playing hard to get then, Bitch :mad:

Always the same with lookers :mad:

Just because they know they`re hot they think that can play fast and loose with the feelings of fine upstanding gentlemen like ourselves :(

[Mal Hombre]

Here are the runners up,one exerting undue influence on a hapless judge
http://ist1-2.filesor.com/pimpandhost.com/1/_/_/_/1/s/l/y/P/slyP/funny-fatty-1_0.jpg (http://pimpandhost.com/image/6756067-original.html)
another demonstrates Her foreplay techniques
http://ist1-4.filesor.com/pimpandhost.com/1/_/_/_/1/s/l/y/T/slyT/funny-fatty-2_0.jpg (http://pimpandhost.com/image/6756071-original.html)

[billybunter]

What do you expect when you eat 4 12" pizzas a day, washed down with coke.:eek:

[MaxJoker]

What do you expect when you eat 4 12" pizzas a day, washed down with coke.:eek:


More like six pizzas with everything on them !

Mind she only drinks diet coke with it so at least is making an effort :rolleyes:

[Mr Bond]

.... and i didn't know what to do ?

Sure ! I have just two hands ! :(:eek::(:eek::thumbsup:

http://thumbnails36.imagebam.com/12355/9fe3eb123548715.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/9fe3eb123548715)

[Estreeter]

http://thumbnails35.imagebam.com/12378/b6b139123774194.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/b6b139123774194)


Finally got the naked girl to my bed, what now ?
Looks good I must say.

[MaxJoker]

http://thumbnails35.imagebam.com/12378/b6b139123774194.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/b6b139123774194)


Finally got the naked girl to my bed, what now ?
Looks good I must say.


Do what you do best mate , pump her ;) :thumbsup:

Just don`t over pump as that can lead to nightmares :eek:

http://s1.postimage.org/4wh5n9vo/Fat_woman.jpg (http://postimage.org/image/4wh5n9vo/)

Waking ones :D

[adderock]

I won't post in the "wank club"-thread for a while, but I'm laughing so hard it's worth it.

[Mal Hombre]

http://thumbnails35.imagebam.com/12378/b6b139123774194.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/b6b139123774194)


Finally got the naked girl to my bed, what now ?
Looks good I must say.She looks a little deflated,maybe the last bloke let Her down....

[Mr Bond]

Originally Posted by Estreeter

http://thumbnails34.imagebam.com/12382/b6b139123817987.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/b6b139123817987)


Just a question : Is she a real blonde ? :D

[Estreeter]

She looks a little deflated,maybe the last bloke let Her down....

There was no last bloke, I only like pure girls ;)

Just a question : Is she a real blonde ? :D

No, That's a wig.

[MaxJoker]

A rare snap of last years Miss Russia enjoying the midday sun .

http://img157.imagevenue.com/loc498/th_50764_rrrrrrrrrrr_123_498lo.jpg


Hey i know what you`re all thinking , but step off fellow members , i`m first in line :D

[Mr Bond]

I don't speak in Russian !!!

http://thumbnails42.imagebam.com/13883/43479f138827087.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/43479f138827087)


And is mouth is never empty... :thumbsup:

[19gc19]

DSK therapy maybe?

[cherry88]

I knew a guy who screwed a real fat girl.

During the "act", she started laughing at him.

He asked why.

She said he was screwing her fat.


OMG LOL. I dont know if this joke is creepy or whatever. I got vaguely disturbed... But its funny too. haha

[heretic(666)]

[QUOTE=Mr Bond;1481264]A naked woman on my bed and i didn't know what to do ?
Look at that one ( not a fake ).
How can I make love with Donald Duck ? :eek:

http://thumbnails25.imagebam.com/12061/63d4d1120600521.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/63d4d1120600521)

Its easy if you are fucking daffy

[sweatyhat]

[QUOTE=Mr Bond;1481264]A naked woman on my bed and i didn't know what to do ?
Look at that one ( not a fake ).
How can I make love with Donald Duck ? :eek:

http://thumbnails25.imagebam.com/12061/63d4d1120600521.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/63d4d1120600521)

Its easy if you are fucking daffy

An ethical surgeon would refuse to mutilate her like that.
She's obviously barking.
What is she? Some kind of BJ specialist?
I wouldn't fuck it but if I saw her in the bath I'd probably drag her out with a gaff.

[Mr Bond]

And it's not a fake !
But, with a pillow on her face.... :eek::cool::D

[Alvin Lucifer]

I've had 'em that big. It's like a flesh waterbed with wet holes. Kinda fun, really. Just gotta make sure she don't smother you by accident!

[heretic(666)]

B.J specialist? With a cock in her mouth she would suffocate as her top lip would cut off the air supply through her nose.