What do women want ?

[MaxJoker]

Now i can only speak from haphazard experience , but for me i tend to find that if you`re willing to let them talk themselves out while you look into their eyes and feign interest that`s a great base from which to prepare your invasion :rolleyes: ...


http://img181.imagevenue.com/loc476/th_24479_15700in-bed-with-faith_123_476lo.jpg (http://img181.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=24479_15700in-bed-with-faith_123_476lo.jpg)



For is it not written in lascivious 69 " Blessededed be the listener for thine patience shall be`th rewardeth in joyous and sweaty union, or at least enough times to make the effort worthwhile`th " ...

[Lena]

Now i can only speak from haphazard experience , but for me i tend to find that if you`re willing to let them talk themselves out while you look into their eyes and feign interest that`s a great base from which to prepare your invasion :rolleyes: ...


http://img181.imagevenue.com/loc476/th_24479_15700in-bed-with-faith_123_476lo.jpg (http://img181.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=24479_15700in-bed-with-faith_123_476lo.jpg)





Looks like she may have a sharp instrument under that pillow.

[MaxJoker]

Looks like she may have a sharp instrument under that pillow.



I`m willing to take that risk , anyway i always keep a plaster in my sock in case of emergency's :D ...

[Leprechaun]

What do women really want their man to have ?

Maybe an evolutionary biologist would write: Females search for the 'strongest' males - the surviving fittest partners with the best genetic requirements to beget the surviving fittest descendants. This is the biological reason why especially younger 'breedy' females often like male 'alpha leader' types: the best player of a football team, the leader of a gang, the heroish movie actor, the manager of a lucrative firm, the guy with the fastest car.

Ok, the best player of a football team may ruin his tendons, the gang leader may shot dead, the heroish movie actor may be a alcohol-cocaine-dependent dud in private life, the manager may go bankrupt and the guy with the fastest car may have an accident. Diseased! Destituted! Dead! Surviving fittest hm? ;)

But IMO Life isn't just a genetical and biochemical chain reaction.

In general a woman's 'typical prey' depends on her personal circumstances, her personality, her individual tastes, her life experience and her (unfulfilled) necessities. Because often the 'surviving fittest' is just an idiot! :D

[Ross758]

Confidence mainly.

[marlon]

Looks like she may have a sharp instrument under that pillow.

And a lawyer under the bed.

[hoyya]

But IMO Life isn't just a genetical and biochemical chain reaction.

Sure every matching partnership has its secret wonders in the idividual view.

The great whole reduced on statistical facts is simple:
-role of the man: signaling his abilities by competition against other men
-role of the woman: selecting her partner

Surprising for me: Latest statistics say, the average woman in our emanzipated society has a so called capturesceme like in the stone age: they still go for the best nourisher (of their offspring). The capture is somehow unconscious done, because in the partnership they wish teamwork.

The whole decision of the woman is multifactorial. That means there are a lot of other parameters than the mans supporting abilities that count, but if they are great, everything else doesn’t matter that much anymore: the 22 years old ukrainian beauty queen marries the 75 years old US billionaire!
Lets say that billionaire has no other qualities; then a very handsome, aspiring, empathic, listening, attentive, good smelling, healthy, funny, poor young man, who likes her family still can beat that billionaire. He just has to be very good in all other cathegories to get a go by this woman.

One of the other parameters are the physical looks of a man. The average woman likes a cracking bottom, a V shaped back and beautiful eyes







_

[MaxJoker]

And a lawyer under the bed.

What i`d be doing something worth being sued over ? , now that sounds like my kinda evening :D ...


http://img44.imagevenue.com/loc813/th_55531_kid_looking_up_skirt_123_813lo.jpg (http://img44.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=55531_kid_looking_up_skirt_123_813lo .jpg)



:rolleyes:

[MaxJoker]

_One of the other parameters are the physical looks of a man. The average woman likes a cracking bottom, a V shaped back and beautiful eyes_



Well i`ve got a crack in my bottom alright , a U shaped back and the sparkling eyes of a madman (By my pillow) but i still do ok :rolleyes: ...


http://img173.imagevenue.com/loc1115/th_55772_good_shit_123_1115lo.jpg (http://img173.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=55772_good_shit_123_1115lo.jpg)


Ps i exaggerate to clarify :D ...

[DTravel]

They look for whatever you don't have and if you get it, they'll change their minds.

[Lena]

http://img140.imagevenue.com/loc808/th_85636_WW1_123_808lo.jpg (http://img140.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=85636_WW1_123_808lo.jpg)

[MaxJoker]

Seriously !

http://img259.imagevenue.com/loc596/th_96372_1_123_596lo.jpg (http://img259.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=96372_1_123_596lo.jpg)

You know i`m sure the VAST majority of women are perfectly delightful and consistently reasonable people , it`s just that i've yet to meet one of those. Take last night for instance , where i got the look ,the complain filled sigh then the frosty turn merely because i`m unable to read another's thoughts. Thing is that`s probably quite hard to do at the best of times , but if you`re having to work two jobs and are kinda beat it`s hardly surprising if your brain forgets to remind you the woman beside (Herself) is waiting for you to ask how the semi-important meeting with her colleague went.

http://img230.imagevenue.com/loc136/th_96374_2_123_136lo.jpg (http://img230.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=96374_2_123_136lo.jpg)

Fellow forum-ers i`m giving serious consideration towards forming my own charity for emotionally traumatized men :(

http://img241.imagevenue.com/loc345/th_97142_4_123_345lo.jpg (http://img241.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=97142_4_123_345lo.jpg)

The Peace of Mind Society

http://img31.imagevenue.com/loc745/th_97134_3_123_745lo.jpg (http://img31.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=97134_3_123_745lo.jpg)

Or PMS for sort

http://img244.imagevenue.com/loc237/th_97314_man_relaxing-enjoy_123_237lo.jpg (http://img244.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=97314_man_relaxing-enjoy_123_237lo.jpg)

:D

[MaxJoker]

Here`s the top ten things we men know about women

1) They always keep you waiting , for everything
2) They only want to talk when they want to talk , anything else is an invasion of their quiet space
3) They hardly ever listen to our advice , yet still like to use us as their moral, mental and emotional support systems
4) They withhold sex , yet don't want us to use porn
5) They ask us how we`re feeling , wherein we then have to quickly judge how they`re feeling and whether they can handle our answer or not
6) They love to shop , preferably with us as pack animal and mobile bank teller
7) They enjoy talking to their girlfriends about everything we've ever said or done , yet want discussions between us to remain a mystery to our own friends
8) They buy makeup they never use and clothes they never wear , oh and try to store them at my flat
9) They want to watch trash TV with us and read even trashier glossy magazine stories out to us , yet won`t sit through a single minute of Rising Damp or debate whether or not the new Green Lantern film should star the guy who plays Kirk (I say no)
10) They always want to plan things in advance such as dinner parties , evenings out , our wedding , you know ,the usual



So in summation , women are self obsessed yet have what we need . Still that`s what we know about them , now let`s see just what they know about us

1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)

:rolleyes:

http://img133.imagevenue.com/loc861/th_51322_taxi1bloodyfinger1_123_861lo.jpg (http://img133.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=51322_taxi1bloodyfinger1_123_861lo.j pg)

The defense rests

:D

[beezer60]

This would be my ex's list:

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other

[kananga]

a pulse

[avidfan]

in the words of good charlotte...

Educated With Money
He's well dressed; Not funny
And Not Much to say in most conversation
But He'll foot The Bill in all situations
'Cause He Pays For Everything

Girls Don't Like Boys.
Girls Like Cars And Money
Boys Will Laugh At Girls When They're Not Funny

Paper or Plastic.
Don't Matter She'll have it
Vacations and shopping sprees
These are a few of her favorite things
She'll Get What She wants if She is Willing To Please.
His Type of Girl Always Comes With A Fee
Hey Now There's Nothing For Free

Girls Don't Like Boys,
Girls Like Cars And Money
Boys Will Laugh At Girls When They're Not Funny

And These Girls Like These Boys, Like These Boys Like These Girls
The Girls With the Bodies Like Boys With Ferraris
Girls Don't Like Boys,
Girls Like Cars And Money

Lets Go...

Girls Don't Like Boys,
Girls Like Cars And Money
Boys Will Laugh At Girls When Theyre Not Funny

And These Girls Like These Boys, Like These Boys Like These Girls
The Girls With the Bodies Like Boys With Ferraris
Girls Don't Like Boys,
Girls Like Cars And Money

All of these boys (yeah) and all of the girls are
Losing Their Souls In a Material World...
All of these boys (yeah) and all of the girls are
Losing Their Souls In a Material World...
All of these boys (yeah) and all of the girls are
Losing Their Souls In a Material World...
All of these boys (yeah) and all of the girls are
Losing Their Souls In a Material World...

[scoundrel]

This would be my ex's list:

1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other

''Gentlemen!'' Raises wine glass. ''To our wives and sweethearts''. Drinks. Pause. ''May they never meet!''

Russell Crowe as Captain Jack Aubrey.
Master and Commander, The Far Side of the World.

Mars and Venus aren't so far apart.

[BigBucket]

I'm so happy im a batchelor.

Only had one Gf 20 15 years ago but she lived miles away and it drifted apart.

Good thing is i can admire female flesh without having to hide it too much or feel guilty about it. if i had good looks and a dick that could shoot down planes i'd happily do porn. i have no one to worry about it.

i'd get my oates without the baggage. A bit cold i know but truthful.

i'm one of those guys the emotional connetion to marry and procreate just isnt there.

[BigBucket]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ze64bkC3K1E&feature=related

NWA's infamous Bitch iz a Bitch.

WARNING: SWEARING! Very rude, very true, Very funny!

[snorkie]

That said, here are a couple of lines from a small movie called "the Personals." The scene is a crowded pick-up bar:

"I'm not that tall. I happen to be sitting on my wallet."

(Spoken loudly) "Do you know if they tow Porsche's around here?"

Talk about serendipity, I just got an email from my brother called "The new Ferrari." Be sure to enlarge the second photo.

WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE:

http://img249.imagevenue.com/loc504/th_27305_F1_122_504lo.jpg (http://img249.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=27305_F1_122_504lo.jpg)
WHAT IT DOES:

http://img232.imagevenue.com/loc437/th_78651_f2_123_437lo.jpg (http://img232.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=78651_f2_123_437lo.jpg)
:)

[Pinkpapercut]

Confidence mainly.

Yes, in one word, confidence.

In two, status, confidence.

Dunno about the rest of you, but I find women generally so self-deceiving on the subject of their own sexuality that I know I'd be happier gay, dealing with the more straightforward sexuality of men, if it wasn't for the fact that I find other men thoroughly sexually unattractive.

[MaxJoker]

Dunno about the rest of you, but I find women generally so self-deceiving on the subject of their own sexuality that I know I'd be happier gay, dealing with the more straightforward sexuality of men, if it wasn't for the fact that I find other men thoroughly sexually unattractive.


In my most recent experience women look for someone with no short term memory ,a sympathetic ear and raging hard on .
Thankfully only one of those things apply to me , at least it did until i read your post :D

[Rfan]

So in summation , women are self obsessed yet have what we need . Still that`s what we know about them , now let`s see just what they know about us

1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)


You are correct but you left out one important detail GS, women think they know all about us. A woman would fill in 1 -10 with 'manipulate by sex'.

I think one of the keys to understanding women is not to. Look they just dont add up, OK. Crazy hormones doin' crazy things. One of the secrets is women dont KNOW what they want, you have to tell them.

Ok, if a female member sees this I'm deadmeat. Just ban me GS, just ban me.

[JerryFalwell]

Status, which, in Western society, means money.

[brianwp]

I've been around the block a few times, and first of all I would ask..in what way? As a sexual partner, or as a lifelong partner and provider? As far as a sexual partner goes, they're not that demanding at all, actually. If that's all they want, a good lay, they don't care in the least about what car you drive, or how much you make. It's purely animal instinct. Partly visual, but mostly guys who have that "thing" about them. A good sense of humor helps a lot, but then just sensuality. Unfortunately, regardless of what the books tell you, this is a mostly inbred thing, kind of a gift. Either you have it or you don't. Women looking for sex like the "bad boy" type, exciting, raw, a little rough. It don't matter if you're a murderer, if you have that "thing", and they want it, they'll get it. But then they decide they want to settle down, and they want someone more dependable. The "nice guy". The sensitive guy, the guy who works an honest job, and likes kids, and all that noise. The smarter guys. The dependable guys. I guess I'm in between. When I met my wife, she didn't put out right away. Took a while. She later told me she wanted to do it with me right away, she knew I was a bad boy, basically, but she saw potential, and she wanted me to stay. Besides the sexual attraction, she liked me, and saw me as a potential mate. So she played me along for a while. Of course, men are idiots, and just want to fuck right away, regardless. But the women have the biological clock going, and are a bit more intelligent about it. So, they're really calling the shots, here.

[MaxJoker]

I've been around the block a few times, and first of all I would ask..in what way? .

Hah like you needed to ask as you know what i mean you darn trickster you , the topic term was a generic one and meant to allow fellow members to say what their particular partner at the time or past-tense (Spot the pun competition time folks) had expected from them. Be it sexual , relationship/ commitment wise or even how much of the bed you were expected to voluntarily give up each night !

Course that hasn`t exactly happened , but then when does anything ever go right :D


God but less of that clichéd " Bad boy " term thanks , understand you were saying it about yourself but for me that`s another method of playing into the anti-men brigades assertion that all men are bastards :mad:

Down with feminist propaganda , and up with the facts !

We`re the weaker sex , as us helpless blokes are controlled by our hormones 24-7 never mind for one poxy week a month !

Also don`t get me stared on periods and blood loss either , because you wanna talk about blood loss try shaving twice a day :mad:

I could go on , and i will but right now i gotta go answer the phone ;)

Who`s calling ?, why my EX . A woman so insecure she actually had her hair dyed blond this morning because i mistakenly spoke to her while watching Lady Ga Ga last night ,and mentioned (After being asked who`s that in the background) i liked her hair style :rolleyes:

Deranged women someone save me from deranged women ! :eek:

[brianwp]

Sorry, oh Green One, but I am a manly man, and manly men deal with logic, innit? "Methinks thou dost protest too much". If you want to talk women, you have to think women. You take offense at the "bad boy" epitaph, but women don't see it as slander, but as a positive. They like it. They love it. They need it. They crave it. It completes them. Just think back to the early days, dragging a woman into your cave by her hair. You didn't hear any complaining then, did you? I didn't think you did.

Dr. Phil

[MaxJoker]

Sorry, oh Green One, but I am a manly man, and manly men deal with logic, innit? "Methinks thou dost protest too much". If you want to talk women, you have to think women. You take offense at the "bad boy" epitaph, but women don't see it as slander, but as a positive. They like it. They love it. They need it. They crave it. It completes them. Just think back to the early days, dragging a woman into your cave by her hair. You didn't hear any complaining then, did you? I didn't think you did.

Dr. Phil




A difference of opinion methinks and why not ?. Oh and sure women don`t see those terms as slanderous, i mean they`re women for Mohammed's sake AND they came up with them in the first place !

Now me i find it all part of the normal trend of today , the trend of men being unsubtly undermined. Who knows maybe it`s just that our representation (Such that it is ) in the media is at odds with your own over there in the states ?.

Speaking of which did anybody see that damn Sainsburys advert with the slightly chubby bloke ( First inkling that we`re meant to think him stupid i guess :mad:) .Who goes into the store with a hand basket , and upon seeing SO many unexpected reasonable priced offers (I`m guessing this store was sighted next to Shangrila ?) begins over filling his basket until the products start to hoh hoh hoh fall onto the floor ,and he struggles to carry them all while pulling a "Typically" male bemused expression.All the time this is happening an annoying faced female employee of the store keeps taking a quick look at him and shaking her head . Anyway it ends up with Mr Joe AverageSadSack having to push his basket along the floor like a common pygmy, yeah like that`d happen :mad:

Until wonder of wonders the women pushes a trolley towards him = The crowd goes wild !

Then you cut to the man again , he still looks bewildered only now also embarrassed and ashamed (But then so would i if i shopped there ) as he pushes the trolley

Final scene

The same woman pops her head from behind a shelf full of Vagina fungus creams (Well in my mind she does ) and gives the most CONDESCENDING smile EVER :mad:

As in " Ahhhhh poor men , thick as shite and twice as useless how do they cope without us ? "

Well quite easily actually as it happens and thanks again for crediting the male of the species for inventing every single item and product you own and use , so put that in your tampon and smoke it babe :D

[beezer60]

Speaking of which did anybody see that damn Sainsburys advert with the slightly chubby bloke ( First inkling that we`re meant to think him stupid i guess :mad:) .Who goes into the store with a hand basket , and upon seeing SO many unexpected reasonable priced offers (I`m guessing this store was sighted next to Shangrila ?) begins over filling his basket until the products start to hoh hoh hoh fall onto the floor ,and he struggles to carry them all while pulling a "Typically" male bemused expression.All the time this is happening an annoying faced female employee of the store keeps taking a quick look at him and shaking her head . Anyway it ends up with Mr Joe AverageSadSack having to push his basket along the floor like a common pygmy, yeah like that`d happen :mad:

Every time I go to the supermarket the cashier asks "Would you like help with the packing". Every single time. Doesn't matter which supermarket. They never asked the woman in front of me in the queue. It drives me nuts. I reckon they train the staff this way. Man with shopping = man with disability.

[BigBucket]

Every time I go to the supermarket the cashier asks "Would you like help with the packing". Every single time. Doesn't matter which supermarket. They never asked the woman in front of me in the queue. It drives me nuts. I reckon they train the staff this way. Man with shopping = man with disability.

They do this to me, i then tell them 2 things. 1) I'm living in the UK not US and i can pack my own bags. 2) i used to work in a supermarket and know how they think.

They usaually shut up at this point. :D

[BigBucket]

The biggest lie of all is the fact that women always say the man should make the first move.

Rubbish the woman makes the first move everytime. Shes sussed you out and plays you like a bloody violin and makes the poor sappy man think hes in charge.

Right yeah.

[Leprechaun]

From http://whatwewomenwant.org/dating_women_want.html:



Here are some things that really turn on a woman's unconscious and conscious drives for a man in today's world:
(Below results are from a long term, cross-cultural, international study of women's desires in men for a mate.)

* Current Resources and Economic Capacity.
Women look for how much territory, tools, and resources a man commands and how willingly he is to share them with her and her offspring. He must demonstrate that he will provide a good life for his family. Not only is his past performance important, but also important is his future and continued potential to maintain valuable resources. This is not very romantic, but it's practical and realistic! At her deepest level, the man wins who has the most resources to best help protect and care for her and the offspring. It has been that way for millions of generations!

* Social Status, Self-confidence, and Ability to Take Care of Himself and His Family.
Women are attracted to power and high status in men. Women shun men who are easily dominated by other men and who have difficulty surviving in today's materialistic world. Research reveals women look for, and place a high value on, men who are intelligent, ambitious, and who work hard for advancement and high goals. Men have a hard time faking this one because it is revealed by habitual body language, speech, and interactions with others. Smart guys practice improving these.

* Dependability and Stability.
These two important characteristics imply that the man will share his resources and continue reliably protecting and caring for the family in all future unforeseen circumstances. Men fail this category often. It only takes one time to screw-up and miss a date or to "go off in a rant and rage out of control" to be written off by the woman as a looser. Smart guys work to make sure they demonstrate dependability and stability.

* Size, Strength, and Age.
A large and strong male body can provide protection for the family from dangerous predators. This is not so important as it was 30,000 years ago, but don't forget, women and men are still programmed with old DNA from then.

Height is an often stated characteristic women desire in a male. In surveys, most women stated the desired height of their mate should be six feet (182.88 cm). Interestingly, the average US male height is 5 feet 9 inches (175.26 cm). If you are a guy who is "height challenged" (i.e. 'short') go after short women. Improved body posture can increase height slightly but most importantly it signals self-confidence. (Guys, suck in your gut, too.)

In most cases today, older men have more material resources, personal power, and are more stable and reliable than younger men. Most women of all ages find older men to be a better risk than a young guy. Since men of all ages have a DNA built-in preference for young women, this means young men are competing against both younger and older men for the young women. That means the lucky young women have a wide range of ages they can choose from.

* Health, Cleanliness, and Overall 'Upkeep' of Body.
Good health is essential for producing healthy offspring and for a trouble-free, long term relationship with her and the offspring. A man who cannot maintain his own peak health is likely to be a burden to his family in the future. Many men fail this one in the first 10 minutes with a new woman because women use their nose a great deal in unconsciously selecting a mate. A healthy body smells good and is an unconscious "turn-on" for women. A bad smelling man can indicate poor health and make a woman leave immediately.

* Love and Commitment.
These two words have different meanings in different cultures but they imply a man's willingness to give his full attention and all his resources unselfishly to his mate and offspring. Also implied is the man's promise of future fidelity and continued protection and shared resources.

When a woman says that "love" is important, what she is implying is that she wants to insure that his support in the future will continue. His infidelity, and loss of love, could mean redistribution of his resources. A continuing on-going "love connection" is reassuring to the woman for future protection and survival.

* Sense of Humor.
Research also shows that a man's good sense of humor is favored highly by women. This develops camaraderie and enlivens the relationship better than any other single characteristic. Good humor also signals good intelligence.

* Intelligence, Kindness, and Sensitivity.
It takes considerable experience and education to resolve family problems in today's complex world. There are few men or women who are equipped to succeed without outside help from family, teachers, or counsellors. Quarrels and increasing domestic problems between men and women who were once "in love", appear more often than not. Intelligence, kindness, and sensitivity are especially important to help one survive in today's world filled with obstacles.

The intellectual capacity to learn how to do problem resolution, plus kindness and sensitivity in relating to others, goes a long way in maintaining a stable family and raising healthy offspring. However, the high divorce rate and number of unhappy people still in marriages indicates that the human brain has not evolved sufficiently to cope well in today's world. Professional help to solve family relationship problems can be priceless. Guys mostly avoid outside help because they think it indicates they are poor hunters and providers. Too bad. Men usually need help more than women because men usually don't have a close support group like most women have.

Hope this helps. ;)

[brianwp]

A difference of opinion methinks and why not ?. Oh and sure women don`t see those terms as slanderous, i mean they`re women for Mohammed's sake AND they came up with them in the first place !

Now me i find it all part of the normal trend of today , the trend of men being unsubtly undermined. Who knows maybe it`s just that our representation (Such that it is ) in the media is at odds with your own over there in the states ?.:D

GreenSkull! Sure, they walk all over us. Sure, thay came up with the terminology. But it wasn't because of your media as opposed to our media. Do you really think that women need to rely on tv to know men? They've always known all about men. It's inbred. They know us better than we know ourselves. Anywhere. We're outranked here. Nature says we have the physical advantage, but they have the psychological advantage. But there's the attraction! It's really rather primitive, even in this day and age. Women play us like a cheap violin. They have the power. We protect, defend, and support them. But when night falls, we get what we want, and so do they. Primal instincts take over, as we take our spoils, in control, with sweet surrender. They've wanted this all along. We take command and ravish them as we wish, as much as we wish, as hard as we wish, and they are helpless to do but what we command. I gotta go to the bathroom now.

[MaxJoker]

I now have the answer as to what they want , they want EVERYTHING all the time !

Just had a falling out with a Japanese friend girl who came round the Sunday before wanting me to take pictures of several pairs of jeans/ trousers she no longer wanted ,and was going to try and flog on ebay. So she pops round and dumps them on me then clears off, i open the bag and not one of these items has been ironed and so all look like well crap. So i just took the best photos i could. Half way through this i get a call from her again , she`s also got a CD radio and wants me to photograph that as well. So she turns up again with another bag , then clears off. Inside the bag is the dustiest oldest looking bloody piece of kit i`ve ever seen , so i don`t bother taking the photo.

So today she arrives at my door once more and comes in complaining about being hungry , goes to my fridge opens it then asks if she can have a bit of the roast chicken . I`m busy uploading the trousers images and say ok , as i`m not a tyrant .

Then i hear her say " You didn`t clean the radio "

I turn round and there she is holding a chicken leg (A CHICKEN LEG ! ), with confusion on her face. Like she wanted me to clean the radio ??? , what did she expect me to iron her bleeding clothes to ???

Fair to say i showed her the door soon after

Women , a right bunch of bastards !

:mad:

[Aitken Bonar]

I now have the answer as to what they want , they want EVERYTHING all the time !

But then again, perhaps they'll change their minds. :D (Sorry for the vicious edit GreenSkull.)

[buttsie]

The impossible

These two brains to develop a deep almost twin like connection

http://thumbnails7.imagebam.com/5152/b75dfd51515861.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/b75dfd51515861)

[Estreeter]

http://thumbnails4.imagebam.com/5153/ef2cfd51521799.gif (http://www.imagebam.com/image/ef2cfd51521799)
An argument:(
And they're good at it:mad:

[MaxJoker]

An argument:(
And they're good at it:mad:


Yes but think back was it ever an actual argument ?, as in one where you yourself got a chance to defend your corner ?. I doubt it . That`s why i don`t think of it as them being good at arguing , more like great at all out tactical first strikes !

In my experience every linguistic explosion has happened not due to anything i did but to what the woman has suddenly figured i should have done. Mean we`ve all heard of second guessing but women seem to demand third , fourth and fifth guessing ,such as.

She`s once again lost something so .......... I must have moved it , oh no wait there it is in plain view .Tut ,and all you had to do to find it was make the effort to LOOK !

She`s running late so ......... That extra minute i wasted trying to use my OWN bathroom is the reason , not the fact she had fifteen minutes more snooze time than she could afford !

Talking of afford :mad:

She`s just gone over her limit so ........ Why not remind me about that takeaway she volunteered to cover ten days ago , because hey sure it`s my fault you`re broke as i didn`t HAVE to allow you to pay did i , because it`s not like the fancy face cream and ludicrously expensive fake tan you buy had anything to do with it !


God so so many occasions where the woman messes up and like any decent dictator immediately grabs a human shield to protect themselves from deserved criticism.

See that`s what the do , they don`t argue as we would argue . Since an argument can eventually reach a conclusion ,no they "Criticize" which is an open ended we can`t win kind of thing.


Women , a right bunch of geniuses !

:mad:

[sirrick]

Face it. If you subscribe to Darwen or not we, Are all brothern to our animal friends. And subject to the same laws of nature. Females of all species look to mate with the "Alpha Male" period! Who ever is the most beautiful,fastest,strongest,richest,powerful etc.... will have the female beating down his door to mate. They have an inbred desire to make only the best of offspring to insure the species! They are drawn by nature to this. And have little choice in the matter. That is why we as men have always strove to be the best in whatever field we have endured. To attract the female! In the past, Why do you think we war? To show who's best. Why do you think we hunt? To show who's is the best provider. Sports today and in the past were only civilized warfare. Where the loser got to go home alive. Today it's who makes the most money, Has the nicest car, Has the best job, has the best, Who is the best looking. It's all whos the best! It's all DNA. "To the victor goes the spoils"

[MaxJoker]

What is the one hold women have over us = Sex

What`s the one thing they withhold from us = Sex

But only so they have a fortified position from which to open fire daily with nagging tracer fire and headache inducing moany mortar shells :(

Which we can`t properly combat ,as in the back of our minds we`re still hoping against hope that once she calms down we`ll get to dip our cocktail weenies :(

Me i wish there was another way :(

Or at least a way that didn`t mean we immediately had an interest in quiche making , interior design or giving queer (As in strange) looking boy scout salutes :eek:


http://img261.imagevenue.com/loc242/th_55738_article_1080383_04C701520000044D_700_468x 537_123_242lo.jpg (http://img261.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=55738_article_1080383_04C70152000004 4D_700_468x537_123_242lo.jpg)

[victor meldrew]

Shoes, handbags, orgasms and a surf. ;)

[MaxJoker]

Shoes, handbags, orgasms and a surf. ;)

Well like i always say one out of four ain`t bad ;) :thumbsup:


http://img168.imagevenue.com/loc753/th_61368_Surf_Tropical_Powder_3kg_123_753lo.jpg (http://img168.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=th_61368_Surf_Tropical_Powder_3kg_12 3_753lo.jpg)

[Mal Hombre]

A Man who is loving ,caring ,in touch with His feelings and rich with a big dick.:D
Cynical ? Moi?

[DEB JORDAN FAN]

:pUsually Everything.

[elf4736]

They dont know what thy want:confused:
So just hope you get one with a good sense of houmor

[kelio]

Depends on the woman but it can include the following: a mommy, a daddy, a baby, money, or power.
IMO women usually want what they can't have - a penis or some substitute thereof.
And when it gets more complicated, they may want this:

http://ist1-2.filesor.com/pimpandhost.com/1/_/_/_/1/q/2/v/J/q2vJ/realm1_0.jpg (http://pimpandhost.com/image/show/id/6206183) http://ist1-2.filesor.com/pimpandhost.com/1/_/_/_/1/q/2/v/K/q2vK/inrealm_0.jpg (http://pimpandhost.com/image/show/id/6206184)
(taken from the movie In the Realm of Senses: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk_aOjfkCrY)

[MaxJoker]

First they want to attract us

http://img192.imagevenue.com/loc223/th_24832_hairlastic_123_223lo.jpg (http://img192.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=24832_hairlastic_123_223lo.jpg)


Then entrap us

http://img11.imagevenue.com/loc53/th_24833_portal_graphics_20_1157946a_123_53lo.jpg (http://img11.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=24833_portal_graphics_20_1157946a_12 3_53lo.jpg)


Then once they`ve got our devotion

http://img155.imagevenue.com/loc76/th_24834_l_89f26c93264147477f45f0161be3d156_123_76 lo.jpg (http://img155.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=24834_l_89f26c93264147477f45f0161be3 d156_123_76lo.jpg)


They feel secure enough to let their true personality show

http://img44.imagevenue.com/loc105/th_24837_190266425YRwbqB_fs_123_105lo.jpg (http://img44.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=24837_190266425YRwbqB_fs_123_105lo.j pg)


Then try to make us feel a prick


http://img200.imagevenue.com/loc342/th_24839_PSO1028_123_342lo.jpg (http://img200.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=24839_PSO1028_123_342lo.jpg)


Ah women , can`t live with them , can`t hack them into tiny pieces and try to dispose of the chunks , because you`ll put your back out ;)

[blatt]

Women want this :(:(:(:(
http://ist1-2.filesor.com/pimpandhost.com/1/_/_/_/1/r/S/h/J/rShJ/2220210350068528889MoYtdu_fs_0.jpg (http://pimpandhost.com/image/6643531-original.html)
http://ist1-2.filesor.com/pimpandhost.com/1/_/_/_/1/r/S/h/J/rShJ/2220210350068528889MoYtdu_fs_0.jpg (http://pimpandhost.com/image/6643531-original.html)


http://ist1-3.filesor.com/pimpandhost.com/1/_/_/_/1/r/S/h/R/rShR/2220210350068528889MoYtdu_fs_0.jpg (http://pimpandhost.com/image/6643539-original.html)


They also want us to go buy it for them watch them drink it all themselves and listen to the tripe they talk about while they do it and then want us to take it away and recycle it :(:(:(:):thumbsup:

[BigBucket]

Thank Gawd i got to about 35-36, realised i got to that cut off point in my life where you get comfortable being on your own, set in your ways so to speak. The want to settle and have a morgage, missus, kids etc. You realise it all means total utter bullracks, its not love or caring or stuff like that its chemicals running through your system, thats all. No magic involved or anything.
When i realised all this i breathed a sigh or relef, no more unfulfuilled expectations, unrequited emotions or shattered dreams. I'm free, FREE! I look at women i like and there isnt anything there no more, the want to get to know them beyond friendship just aint there.

Right hand, my imagination is all i need.

Then again i did go through 12 years of one romantic disaster after another leaving me with a permament bitter taste in my mouth which hasn't helped none. LOL

Bitter: yup. Regretful: a little. Cynical: oh yessir!

What do women want, i don't give a toss. (Apart from over nudy piccies that is! :D )

[lung4_haa1]

nobody knows what the hell it is they really want. all we know is that they want something. if only it was like x + 3 = 5 and we know for sure that x=2. there would be far less dateless dudes in the world....:D

[Estreeter]

nobody knows what the hell it is they really want.

I know what they want.
What they want is what we can't and or wont give them :(
Unless there is something in it for us ;)

[theequestrian]

What woman want is for you to actually believe that their pussy is worth your freedom, friends, hobbies, dreams, and ANYTHING of value that you have accumulated in your lifetime.

[MaxJoker]

What woman want is for you to actually believe that their pussy is worth your freedom, friends, hobbies, dreams, and ANYTHING of value that you have accumulated in your lifetime.

Which is ludicrous as none of us believe that :mad:

We all know it :o

Or at least our little soldiers do :(


Oh to be free of such beckoning below deck sultry pressures , what must that be like :(


http://img207.imagevenue.com/loc66/th_973492745_article_0_04EF39860000044D_858_468x37 1_123_66lo.jpg (http://img207.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=973492745_article_0_04EF39860000044D _858_468x371_123_66lo.jpg)

:D

[westbrom]

3 words can control any woman in the world....I DONT CARE...try it

and live by the words of Lynard Skynard....FREEBIRD...Lord knows i cant change...lol

[kananga]

many aren't that different to us, really ;)

http://thumbnails38.imagebam.com/12165/0dda2f121640469.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/0dda2f121640469)

[MaxJoker]

3 words can control any woman in the world....I DONT CARE...try it

What and become overly acquainted with my right hand again , no fear :eek:

[groovesection]

I dont think Women even know what they want.
You meet a girl and everything is great, they then spend the next few years trying to mould you into someone else!

Bitches the lot of them :p

[Hazem_zoom]

I voted for last choice "all of the above and much more" :D

Women are like cats,they are always unstable in their feelings and they are very attracted to brilliant matters in life besides,they like to take more than what they give unless they fall in love,they will then give you everything.:rolleyes:

my very humblle opinion :D

[Puhbear69]

Advertising slogan of the 70s:



http://img23.imagevenue.com/loc560/th_996231210_bauknechtweiss_122_560lo.jpg (http://img23.imagevenue.com/img.php?image=996231210_bauknechtweiss_122_560lo.j pg)


Bauknecht weiss, was Frauen wünschen....
(Bauknecht knows, what woman want)
--------------------------

I've to admit, showing her the catalogue helped me not further: I've got beaten it around my head and - hadn't I escaped in time - I've been testing her potholders as boxing gloves. :o

[Skig]

I've a problem with women - I can't settle with one of them. I've been multi-dating for nearly 10 years. What do most of them want? Commitment. Run lads!!!

[Estreeter]

Women on Monday want
http://thumbnails34.imagebam.com/12240/12c6c0122394770.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/12c6c0122394770)

Tuesday
http://thumbnails39.imagebam.com/12240/124772122394778.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/124772122394778)

Wednesday
http://thumbnails41.imagebam.com/12240/20b66e122394790.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/20b66e122394790)

Thursday
http://thumbnails9.imagebam.com/12240/26c34e122394807.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/26c34e122394807)

Friday
http://thumbnails36.imagebam.com/12240/76493d122394815.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/76493d122394815)

Saturday, especially if going out for the evening
http://thumbnails32.imagebam.com/12240/a57823122394774.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/a57823122394774)

Sunday, with the family
http://thumbnails41.imagebam.com/12240/f5f25e122394797.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/f5f25e122394797)

And me at any time trying to figure them out
http://thumbnails38.imagebam.com/12240/e08dfa122394821.jpg (http://www.imagebam.com/image/e08dfa122394821)

:(:(:(

[MaxJoker]

You know what , women want us to be their ideal man and then the moment we become so they lose bloody interest :mad:

Well that`s what i believe anyway , and that`s why i refuse to be tempered blunted blurred or in anyway changed by anybody let alone a woman :thumbsup:

All i can give them is my honesty , my personality and character as is and that`s that . If they want something different than me then go find somebody different than me .

I ain`t changing for anybody :mad:

Not even my under pants !

But then that`s a whole other story :D

[kananga]

You've hit the nail on the head GS.
They only want what they can't have .. Come to think of it, so do i

[palo5]

They want SHOES :eek:

I don't understand it either, but there you go :confused:

[MaxJoker]

They want SHOES :eek:

I don't understand it either, but there you go :confused:

Yeah they say that , but one of them once walked out on me with bare feet :mad:

Mind you we were at the beach :D

[billybunter]

In my limited experience humour, money and a degree in bedroom gymnastics.:eek: I bought my degree from a "Del Boy" down the market:D

[Hazem_zoom]

Yeah they say that , but one of them once walked out on me with bare feet :mad:

Mind you we were at the beach :D

Women are very tempered,they are in different modes in each moment,just like cats. so they want anything or everything in anytime,:D

But they are 100% emotional creatures.

[MaxJoker]

Women are very tempered,they are in different modes in each moment,just like cats. so they want anything or everything in anytime,:D

But they are 100% emotional creatures.

Yeah and during those certain few extra special days each month they want us to develop the power of mind reading , then come at us with a meat cleaver when we fail :(

Gentler sex ? , my beefy buttocks ! :mad:

:D

[pariser80]

A little island. A young boy find a bottle at the beach. He opens the bottle and a ghost comes out. What happens? Of course, the ghost will comply the biggest wish of the boy. The young man thinks about the best wish, then he says "dear ghost, I want a bridge from here to america." The ghost say: "Oh no, I am only a little ghost. Can't do that. Wish something else."
"No prolem", the boy says: "I want England wins the next football world cup ."
The ghost again: "I am sorry, Im only a little ghost. Please wish something else."
The guy think a few moments, then: "I WANT TO UNDERSTAND WOMEN!"
The ghost shocked: "Nooo not this, how many goals should England shoot in final?"

[Hazem_zoom]

Yeah and during those certain few extra special days each month they want us to develop the power of mind reading , then come at us with a meat cleaver when we fail :(

Gentler sex ? , my beefy buttocks ! :mad:

:D

LOL, it's that tax we must pay as we look for women.:D

How would the world become if the opposite happens? I mean women chase men and in a vintage-erotica forum for males you find some girls say "What do Men want ?" it's luxary that will never happen.
It's our fate that we chase women and make ourselves superheros for them then after all that they still don't like it LOL. :p

[billybunter]

Mine-she wants to move in:eek: no way! Been there and got more than a tee shirt. She lives in North Belfast I live in East Belfast. But we public transport. And I pay for it!

[MaxJoker]

It's our fate that we chase women and make ourselves superheros for them then after all that they still don't like it LOL. :p

;););)

Fully agree with the chasing part but i`ve yet to meet a woman who didn`t end up believing i was a super villain rather than a hero :(

Which is bloody weird given i never behaved any differently during the relationship from when i first originally met them :confused:

Women :mad:

They drive me nuts :mad:




Literally :D :thumbsup:

[billybunter]

Dunno about superhero but Mrs BB's car had a flat tyre at 3am this morning. I was dosing when It was announced. I felt like saying-well change the effing wheel then woman! So instead I said take my car. Reply, "I can't drive your car" :confused: so I had to get up and change the wheel. The tyre was half flat. I told her to pump it up at the garage. "how do you do that?" "ask the man in the garage to do it!" I never got another wink of sleep:mad:

[palo5]

Women want to laugh and not be ignored

If we men get that right, 99% of women are fine with us :thumbsup:

[heretic(666)]

Any bloke who believes there is an answer to this question that will stand scrutiny or the test of time must have had a lobotomy........or needs one.
Does this thread need merging with Why do Men Die Before Women

[MaxJoker]

Any bloke who believes there is an answer to this question that will stand scrutiny or the test of time must have had a lobotomy........or needs one.

There`s always an answer to every question , even this one.

It`s just the actual answer to the problem will lead to the guy doing an eight to ten stretch ;)

Does this thread need merging with Why do Men Die Before Women

Not as it began before that one.

Anyway men don`t die before women .

That`s just a rumour put about by women to give us all false hope .

Because we all know how much they enjoy giving us that :mad: